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while humanity falls... - replicator (of futurology) lyrics

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[verse 1]
is this everything i am?
all i’ve got to give buried underneath the sands of time
this rhyme book, tattered and unwavering
sold ourselves to slavery and lived to waste another day
my compulsion’s to convulse in this sicking society
caught between pious sobriety and a mirror that lies to me
everyday that reflection gets harder to see
and even harder to believe a mind’ll ever find peace
a wise man told me i find no enemy
instead i stare into my eyes and find no destiny
and it’s tearing me apart, ripped from my head to my heart
feel it pains to say it’s hard ‘cause i’m not physically scarred
just lumbered with this strange debt of emotional buildup
enc-mbered to can’t figure why i literally stay stuck in the same rut
is this physical or mental? insular, suspenseful, but it’s leaking from my pencil
i met an ancient nomad at the side of a dirt road
he trained me in the art of divine and hope
i felt ungrateful when i told him i needed strength instead
he said that comes from the air and can never be recompensed
[?] held my hand over the primordial fire
reconditioned my fears and made haste to conspire with liars
in dire straits, i try to make them wait
know this discovery would lead to every one of their mistakes
i wrote inside the bomber that flew over hiroshima
and watched in solemn silence as the knife was plunged deeper into a wound inflicted since the dawn of mankind
but little boys’ bright light can’t bring eyesight to the blind
i’ve seen a million men or more march to certain death by the swords of leaders who never see the other end
i’ve seen everything and yet seen nothing at all
i’ve seen the rise of everything while humanity falls and uh

[verse 2]
i’ve seen all my own actions played back in front of me
and looked on in dismay and sat there wondering
how to break the habits, replace its actions with my own
it’s what appeared to be my chorus instead acting alone
i can’t seem to remember the things that play out in front of me
i’m amazed at how i’ve sold myself such deferent imagery
the memories in my mind don’t match the picture of my life
thinking of myself as [?], [?] to see it’s not right
i think that i need an emotional education ‘cause i notice that i’m taking way more than i’m giving
since age 7 i’ve penned regrets in attempt to vent them instead of being in the moment when it really meant something
what i want’s to dissociate from all i’ve become
start fresh under the cold burn of a new morning sun
but it’s selfish not to sit and fix what my own hands have broken
torn this token from golden to a chauvinist omen
you never notice how self-absorbed your ego can be
we’re not free, there’s an animal inside you and me
self-interest and instinct, we’re empathic by choice
can you subdue the inner voice or do you drown in its noise?
try to hoist yourself out of the rumble of ambiance
deja vu, swim against the tide of the transience
transfixed by the image of myself in the mirror
perpetually waiting for the future to come quicker
a deer in the headlights of time powering forward
caught in pointless notions of fate and honor
being always in [?] certainly helps when i’m writing
it’s just when i turn to living the dichotomy’s frightened
so i guess a whole lot for a little while longer
scared to face life, just another caged songbird
trapped in the gears of the machine as it turns
tryna make heart out of watching the world burn and ahh

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