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that one time - rapsody lyrics

[intro]
(i gotta call my daddy back)
(i’ll hit him in a minute)
(i’ll do this first)
i think the most beautiful sh*t is when you can be the most honest wit’ yourself
like, that’s when you—i think that’s when you the most free, when you can be vulnerable (yeah)
and allow yourself to not be perfect, ya dig?
just be human—that’s it (yeah)
that’s the work i been doin’, anyway
(gotta dig deep on that sh*t)
it’s takin’ some time, but we gettin’ there
(sh*t ain’t easy though, for real)

[verse]
it only took one time
i came out different (yeah)
i’m just like gloria (d*mn)
hmm, except my smile missin’
i was еxperimentin’ (what are thеy doin’ over there?)
i been known n*ggas lie
i found out, so do women
you were my one time
i came out different
my smile gone
i’m turned out—now, i can’t listen to those songs
memories come wit’ ’em, hard to revisit
hard to count on love; my heart broke to a bunch of digits
in the mirror, askin’ my inner child what i’m missin’
“what’s wrong wit’ me?” (wrong wit’ me?)
sh*t, that’s what wrong wit’ me
felt exed out by my exes (d*mn) and momma’s wisdom
sayin’, “never marry” while i’m layin’ next to a married n*gga
knowin’ if my brother*in*law cheated on my sister
i’d be p*ssed wit’ her (i’d be p*ssed wit’ her)
i’m such a hypocrite
i never baptized; i would’ve been disfellowshipped
if jehovah witnesses witnessed the things i did
i’m such a hypocrite—insecurity
i never felt socially accepted or wanted physically
got me changin,’ experimentin’—i fell in love wit’ her
now, i’m smilin’ different—am i my hurt, turned out?
or maybe i’m still triggered
never felt wanted or pretty by no n*ggas—yeah, sh*t
it only took one time, and one mo’
two, three times, and ‘fore long
we in relationship, my thoughts debatin’ wit’
who i am, who i’m livin’ for
my parents, pastors, my demon, my fears, my nieces, my nephew, my fans?
clingin’ to society who always label me but can’t define me quite entirely
entirely, i’m overcome wit’ it all
opened my vault, found my value in my truth and my flaws
it only took one time for me to question it all, for real
[outro]
you gotta look in that mirror
and ask those questions to you and only you ’cause you the only one that can answer them
you know?
they called it, i think, uh
in the medical field, i think the professional term is to unblock that child
or even unblock that trauma, or
i don’t know, you just gotta audit wit’ yourself
you gotta just be okay with just bein’, bein’ imperfect
life is a process, we just goin’ through it
matter fact, though, where my phone at, man?
alright, i’m done

- rapsody lyrics

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