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mean ones - rafael casal lyrics

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just a bay boy, bay boy
in a bay world

[sigh]

look, i know i’m sick
i don’t need no cough or applause confirmin’ it
it’s the only thing that’s permanent
when the lights are low and they burn a bit
when the job don’t pay what it needs to
and the girl i love starts lookin’ see-through
all types of strikes and typos
my life… ain’t a movie it’s a read-through
with too many extras tryin’ to be leads
too many tryin’ to write themselves into scenes
these hands i’m shakin’ might be the devil
i don’t got nobody close that ever got to this level
so i can’t see
and i been gooned up
so i got a short fuse for this hoe–ss marks
targetin’ me since i was younger
but they gave the hunger
to be my own man around these parts
parties in the deep east when i was in the 6th grade
slanging in the north before i turned 13
it was small time shit at the time
but it got me wise quick
learned what survivin’ on the turf means
back in the b
grew up as some waterfront kids
liquor store right down the street
before the rich whites came, and the high-rise
high rent replaced the city of hippies
2-for-a-dollar peach rings and swishers
middle school kids goin’ wild, wild
with tabs on our tongues
beers in our fists
smokin’ black and milds, milds
skateboard kid kick-flipped ’til i could
up the street was sweet, down the street was the hood
and rolling stones they tumble
so i rolled right on down into trouble, my dude
been knowin’ folks since preschool on 10th street
i mean we go way back
his mama babysat
now his mama crying out her eyes at the jailhouse
looking through the gl-ss at the place where her baby at
and i’m always on alert
don’t take it the wrong way
looking my way where i played
and i drank and i hang and i talk my gang of shit
many cats wanna check if i’m all skirt
but i’m all jerk
i was never good enough for half the girls who wanna fuck now
wonder why i’m buck now?
cuz’ i can’t believe what a couple thou
can earn a mothafucka when he b-tton up and step up in the club now
wasn’t i a b-m? wow
funny how that turned around ain’t it, ain’t it
d-mn i wish i wasn’t so tainted, tainted
but fucking you is proof that i made it, made it
at least around here i guess
i digress
i never had the heart for the ego
just villian wishing he was hero
then a goon wishing he’s de niro
anything but zero
they wonder why we some mean ones
just some misbehaving heathens
but men hunt each other where we from
that’s why many young men carry guns
see growing up, it was law
to never show fright in front of company
and i was small
so i carried a pocket knife that read “fuck with me”
most people had guns, most friends had clips
sideshows were no place for me unless i could look someone in the eye
and they knew that i was no b-tch
but that’s where i kicked it so i had to grow quick
had to go get
krypto for the nights
but i ain’t superman
my chick at the time
we had stupid fights
she was pregnant
i was trying to find who i am
and meanwhile i’m on tv
told to keep it pg
so i did poems that i knew would be easy
barely got paid, like a freebie
and now i’m on 3 dvds of def jam
but ain’t a d-mn thing changed in the bay mayne
living in the west off of mlk mayne
me and my dudes still trying to maintain
some are off at school, some are pushing that cane game
we had a dream, something we could sleep on
if one of us get on, we on
we peace out this cashier, bus boy, bar back, bouncer hype we on
‘cuz we don’t belong
and hopefully it won’t be long
but then again dreams tend to fade once you wake them
you know, a wake – celebrate the taken?
look, i gotta play with the thought of nothing changing
when i get my money up, get square with the state
then something’ll break down or they bring up the rate
or somebody gon’ die, or i get sick and the bills climb
and my bank’s back overdrawn, no savings
maybe this is my awakening
bay boys got a short lifespan
we dream big, get stuck doing weak shit, then accept defeat quick, “oh well, we did the best we can!”
further along than when we began
we become beacons
blinking
for the next cat to know where we barely managed to stay afloat
as if that’s better than sinkin’
could swam with some more thinkin’
but one look and it’s over
mediocre is a part of our culture
dead beat dads, women that treat themselves like trash
overtaxed, then drafted as soldiers
i feel like i’m a kid from a land that’s a speck to the rest
trying to lessen the stress making sense of the mess
just a cat in a low hat in a bad mood still
grinch in a pinch -n-lyzin’ his whoville…

d-mn… -n-lyzing our whoville
a mean one
just trying to put words how me and you feel…

… don’t be mad at me… that you spent your life taking that blue pill…

[sampled]

you are so mean
isn’t he kids?

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