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what a time to be alive - raechel whitchurch lyrics

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[verse 1]
what a time to be alive
last christmas, i found out my baby died
i watched my husband dig the grave
planted an orange tree that i see when i go down that driveway
and everyone said i did good
i guess i cried the right amount and kept it private when i could
but i wish someone had asked
how it felt to birth a body on the floor beside the bath

[chorus]
and i don’t even know your name
but if it’s all the same to you
luella’s one i wanted to choose

[verse 2]
i wish that i’d gone on my own
but your brother came to see on the big screen the baby that i’d grown
and i could see it on her face
and i prayed that i was wrong, but i read people every day

[chorus]
and i don’t even know your name
but if it’s all the same to you
luella’s one i wanted to choose
[bridge]
and i’ve got books and i’ve got prayers
and i’ve got people all around me who care
but i’ve got a hole in my heart
that’ll never go away
now i give my money to get back my time
to spend longer with my kids ’cause the years rush by
got a hole in my heart, it’s more familiar every day
oh

[verse 3]
there’s a picture by my bed
your brother drew it, he said that you were sad because you were dead
and it’s my favourite thing he’s done
’cause at four years old, he’s figured out there’s pain he can’t outrun

[chorus]
and i don’t even know your name
but if it’s all the same to you
luella’s one i wanted to choose
and if it’s all the same to you
you were one i wanted to choose

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