we tapped that ass - rachel bloom lyrics
[josh]
i banged you here
and on this couch
in the doorway
on every stair
[greg]
i nailed you there
and on this chair
the hallway
[both]
we tapped that -ss all over this house
[josh]
though never simultaneously [greg]
sometimes him, sometimes me
but one of us was h-ttin’ it, usually
[both]
we tapped that -ss all over this house
you’ll never escape us
’cause we live in your head
just two swell dudes that you screwed
[josh]
and here
and here [greg]
here
and there
[both]
and even occasionally in your bed
[josh, spoken]
that bed is really uncomfortable.
[greg, spoken]
right? it’s like a prison cot.
[josh]
on the stove
and sort of in the fridge
one time i think
that’s where we hit your back pati—
oh!
[greg]
over the sink
and then we hit the back patio
oh!
[both]
we tapped that -ss all over this house
how many times did we tap that behind?
[greg]
well, let’s estimate
[josh]
on an average day, i would have to say
mmm… a-5, 6, 7, 8!
[greg, spoken]
what? too cheeky?
[josh, spoken]
hey, does this ring a bell?
(sung)
“a little to the left…”
[greg]
“oh, oh, okay now, a little to the right…”
[josh]
“oh, oh, wait, wait, back to the left…”
[greg]
“right there! right there!”
[josh]
“wait, no, you’re doing it wrong! i’ll do it myself!”
[greg, spoken]
barkeep, what’s on tap?
[rebecca, spoken]
it’s me. and my -ss.
[greg, spoken]
ooh, sounds refreshing!
[josh]
on the table you were willing and able
and on the safe in the closet
i made a deposit
[greg]
on the ottoman
you took a lotta man
[xander]
i also tapped that -ss all over this house!
[josh, spoken]
let’s wrap this up with a big finish!
[greg, spoken]
but where should we finish?
[rebecca, spoken]
please not on my chest… no, you’ll scratch it!
[josh]
on the bathroom floor
you just wanted more [greg]
on the accent wall
you didn’t care where
[both]
how much more tappin’ could one -ss endure?
we tapped that -ss (tapped that -ss)
we tapped that -ss (tapped that -ss)
we tapped that -ss all over this house!
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