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we tapped that ass - rachel bloom lyrics

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[josh]
i banged you here

and on this couch

in the doorway

on every stair
[greg]
i nailed you there

and on this chair

the hallway

[both]
we tapped that -ss all over this house

[josh]
though never simultaneously [greg]
sometimes him, sometimes me

but one of us was h-ttin’ it, usually

[both]
we tapped that -ss all over this house

you’ll never escape us
’cause we live in your head
just two swell dudes that you screwed

[josh]
and here

and here [greg]
here

and there

[both]
and even occasionally in your bed

[josh, spoken]
that bed is really uncomfortable.

[greg, spoken]
right? it’s like a prison cot.
[josh]
on the stove

and sort of in the fridge
one time i think

that’s where we hit your back pati—
oh!
[greg]
over the sink

and then we hit the back patio

oh!

[both]
we tapped that -ss all over this house

how many times did we tap that behind?

[greg]
well, let’s estimate

[josh]
on an average day, i would have to say
mmm… a-5, 6, 7, 8!

[greg, spoken]
what? too cheeky?

[josh, spoken]
hey, does this ring a bell?
(sung)
“a little to the left…”

[greg]
“oh, oh, okay now, a little to the right…”

[josh]
“oh, oh, wait, wait, back to the left…”

[greg]
“right there! right there!”

[josh]
“wait, no, you’re doing it wrong! i’ll do it myself!”

[greg, spoken]
barkeep, what’s on tap?

[rebecca, spoken]
it’s me. and my -ss.

[greg, spoken]
ooh, sounds refreshing!
[josh]
on the table you were willing and able

and on the safe in the closet
i made a deposit
[greg]
on the ottoman
you took a lotta man

[xander]
i also tapped that -ss all over this house!

[josh, spoken]
let’s wrap this up with a big finish!

[greg, spoken]
but where should we finish?

[rebecca, spoken]
please not on my chest… no, you’ll scratch it!

[josh]
on the bathroom floor

you just wanted more [greg]
on the accent wall

you didn’t care where

[both]
how much more tappin’ could one -ss endure?
we tapped that -ss (tapped that -ss)
we tapped that -ss (tapped that -ss)
we tapped that -ss all over this house!

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