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why can't i cry? - qthemarker lyrics

[verse 1]
2016 i was livin’ life
reckless like the next, never though about it twice
skippin’ every class never thinking ’bout the price
that my momma had to pay just to give me what i liked
was always thinking ’bout the future, got me hyped
’bout everything that i wanted hoped i’d get it over night
forgetting about the present, wishing i did it right
’cause now i’m stuck in the past and my future is out of sight
’cause 2017 hit the n*gga hard
see now that my momma gone, don’t know where to start
been trying to pick it up, but i just keep f*cking up
and even with all the love i would fall apart
see i was suicidal, idle
saying that i’m fine only ’cause i’m h*lla prideful, i know
what i did then wasn’t right
but i was in the dark, never thought i’d see a light
man these feelings were real

[chorus]
why can’t i cry about the things that make me sad?
even though i know that i’m missing what i had
i just keep thinking my emotions ain’t that bad
so i brush em all away again and laugh
i wish i could see you one more time
i need you in my life
and i want you by my side
so just let me make it right
[verse 2]
2018 like, where do i begin?
the scars of losing my mom was opening up again
i never thought that i’d lose another one of my kin
my uncle was meant to win, but god you’re making me sin, like
d*mn, like
i wish i picked up, when he was feeling ill
maybe i’d ease the pain and he would be here still
couldn’t even say bye just wishing it wasn’t real
and now i’m left with the pain you couldn’t know how i feel
2019 was a long year
big hole in my heart, thoughts only full of fear
what if i lose my aunt? and drop another tear
still hurting over my mom and wishing that she was here
been having these lucid dreams ’bout seeing her again and
when i wake up i wish it wouldn’t end
then i’m feeling f*cked up when i go to go to bed
’cause i know that thats the only time i’ll ever cry again

[chorus]
why can’t i cry about the things that make me sad?
even though i know that i’m missing what i had
i just keep thinking my emotions ain’t that bad
so i brush em all away again and laugh

[bridge]
2020 was the year that i would reach my goals but
then we lost joey and it hit the n*ggas soul
man i swear it wasn’t nah
man i swear it wasn’t fair, he wasn’t even 20 years old
had a life full of ambition
if i had to define strong he was the defenition
only met him a couple times but now i’m reminiscing
thinking of all the things we were planning
but i guess i’ll have to wait till i’m in his position
[chorus]
why can’t i cry about the things that make me sad?
even though i know that i’m missing what i had
i just keep thinking my emotions ain’t that bad
so i brush em all away again and laugh
i wish i could see you one more time
i need you in my life
and i want you by my side
so just let me make it right
i wish i could see you one more time
i need you in my life
and i want you by my side
so just let me make it right

- qthemarker lyrics

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