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note to self - pseudoubt lyrics

[verse 1: artifex]
i used to be empty
then i filled the f-cking void
i’m stepping over people
like my childhood toys
locked inside a gl-ss box
wonder why i’m still lost
met an angel, saw the darkness
severed from the cross
in the moonlight is when my inner demons strike
it seems i’m always stuck between a servant and a son
always on the run
just please…
remember the better me
before my first love painted me a loaded gun
i’ve conquered every monster
underneath the moon and sun
my room is filled with day and night… and night and day
but lately i’ve been missing what you used to say was great
i tried to be myself but strangely it still felt the same
i tried to be one of a kind but it still came out plain
so now i take em double time
watch me do this trick of mine
i can take my eyes i can turn them from blue to blind

[hook]
this is all in a note i wrote to myself in my own cold blood

[verse 2: artifex]
pardon my strength
just like knives like rusty fish tanks
can you fixate
we’re i then might think in mistakes
blink to the other hand
flash to the retakes
that rebate tastes like sulfur
swallow matches
watch in wonder
cut to the part with a glance to the past
let it darken, looking at the double sided gl-ss
mans best friend
mans best foothold
not so strong, can’t speak up
send that ego climbing ladders
drop to the ground and shatter broken
never let the shards and pieces glue together
now or never that chance, come on lets dance and shower in my tears
i spent years of pointless searching
it’s now clear
it’s not worth it
don’t you see me hurt or care
can’t you notice n0body watching
watch me now
it’s my turn
see me crash and burn in the past
ms. future told me since i knew her
but i doubt that i’ll make it to her
fast approaching, i hope we have the time to learn our lessons
anecdotes i grab my hope and teach it how to fake depression
i sought the answer un-prevailing so i turned to run
blood red, filling pages someday it will come
until then

[hook]
this is all in a note i wrote to myself in my own cold blood

- pseudoubt lyrics

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