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jackin' it on christmas - prestomystic lyrics

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i feel bad for jackin’ it on christmas
i feel bad for getting off on jesus’s birthday
now socks are the only thing on my wishlist
call me perverted, but what can i say?

the kids get up
mom makes her tea
while i’m in the bathroom, slinging it
before i check what’s under the tree
for me

grandma says that i’ve got issues
all because i asked her for lube and tissues
christmas is here again
time to put my d*ck in my hand
and absolutely go the distance
covered in s*m*n
i should probably wash my hands
i know i should stop
but this feeling’s too intense

it’s presеnt time
and the only thing on my mind
is me and i, alonе time
tossin’ around the tree tonight

no one’s here to deck my halls
so i’m gonna grab my b*lls
and swing ’em
and fling ’em
and ring ’em out like a neanderthal
i don’t*

[knocking]

[spoken]
woah, what, what*

[preston’s mother]
preston?

[preston]
what’s up, what’s up?
[preston’s mother]
are you okay in there? it’s been like, forty minutes

[preston]
no, nah* no, that’s fine, everything’s fine, it’s fine, just get out. get out

[preston’s mother]
what are you doing?

[preston]
please* please get out. no, don’t o* don’t open the door! don’t open the door*!

[preston’s mother]
preston!

christmas is here again
it’s getting pretty cold
so i might throw on a jacket
then totally jack it

i have to start over
somebody’s at the door
i thought it was normal
but i don’t know anymore

- prestomystic lyrics

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