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the ballad of dick and jane - pinkard & bowden lyrics

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there were three young men who fell in love with jane
tom, d-ck, and harry were their names
“i am her only boyfriend,” each of them would boast
but she p-ssed on tom and harry
’cause she liked d-ck the most

now she’s got d-ck in the palm of her hand
she likes to hold d-ck
she likes to squeeze d-ck
she likes to kiss d-ck all of the time
seems like d-ck is always on her mind

so d-ck and jane got married on that day
but their petty problems soon got in the way
before long they were divorcin’, and d-ck thought he’d
get half
but jane took everything except for muff, their little
cat

now he’s got muff in the palm of his hand
he likes to grab muff
he likes to squeeze muff
he likes to tease muff all of the time
seems like muff is always on his mind

- pinkard bowden lyrics

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