turbofuck - petrol bastard lyrics
[verse 1]
you get home at night and you’re feeling pretty blue
walk into the bathroom and you have your evening poo
stumble to the kitchen through a haze of brown and white
suddenly you realise that you forgot to wipe
it’s a one wipe situation
you’ve got sh*t all on your b*lls
it’s a one wipe situation
there’s s*m*n on the walls
[chorus]
yes it’s turbof*ck, it’s a turbof*ck
it’s the drink that makes you want to cut your f*cking kn*b off
turbof*ck, it’s a turbof*ck
you will drive your car and crash into a lamppost
turbof*ck, it’s a turbof*ck
why not get a spade and k!ll somebody’s children
turbof*ck, it’s a turbof*ck
let’s go kick some sand into an old woman’s v*g*n*
drink more now
[verse 2]
put some s*m*n in a pint glass
add a f*cking oxo cube
mash your face into a brick
add a massive clump of p*b*s
don’t give it to children
don’t give it to your friends
don’t give it to yourself because
it will give you aids
[chorus]
yes it’s turbof*ck, it’s a turbof*ck
it’s the drink that makes you want to cut your f*cking kn*b off
turbof*ck, it’s a turbof*ck
you will drive your car and crash into a lamppost
turbof*ck, it’s a turbof*ck
why not get a spade and k!ll somebody’s children
turbof*ck, it’s a turbof*ck
let’s go kick some sand into an old woman’s v*g*n*
drink more now
drink more now
[verse 3]
it’s 7pm now and there’s nothing left to drink
a hooker in the wardrobe, vomit in the sink
the body in the bath is really starting to stink
a bottle in the corner gives you a wink
you can’t order it in bars
you won’t find it in the shops
it will make your bowel grow hair
and do lots of bl**dy plops
[chorus]
yes it’s turbof*ck, it’s a turbof*ck
it’s the drink that makes you want to cut your f*cking kn*b off
turbof*ck, it’s a turbof*ck
you will drive your car and crash into a lamppost
turbof*ck, it’s a turbof*ck
why not get a spade and k!ll somebody’s children
turbof*ck, it’s a turbof*ck
let’s go kick some sand into an old woman’s v*g*n*
drink more now
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