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when i grow up i wanna be richey edwards - patron saint of bridge burners lyrics

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my mother cries to me, she says “i can’t carry on”
my brother hides his head, he’s sober and withdrawn
grandmother cries to me, says “i don’t wanna die”
and through all this, not once were you standing by my side

oh mother, i apologize for the person i’ve become
oh father, i apologize for the misdeeds that i’ve done
oh brother, i apologize, it’s very overdue
oh lover, i apologize for ever meeting you

i will drink myself near death and i will confess, too
even if you are not here for me to confess to
how will it feel years and years down the line
when you learn you can’t love for the hundredth time?

oh my friends, i apologize but it’s time i disappeared
oh family, i apologize but i cannot stay here
oh my friends, i apologize, can you hear it in my voice?
i vanished a long, long time ago, i never had a choice

and i will snub these cigarettes out upon my arm
and bandage up my bloodied wrists each time they come to harm
and vomit all my troubles, yes i will purge them out
f-ck what i’m allowed to feel and allowed to sing about

“god d-mn you all for trying to discredit self-pity, because three hours of sleep a night is starting to f-cking k!ll me. f-ck what i’m allowed to feel. f-ck you, and f-ck what i’m allowed to feel. i was going to name this project “forbidden colors” but the pretense made me want to hang myself.”

- patron saint of bridge burners lyrics

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