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the best gorilla joke of 1897 - parliament of fools lyrics

[intro: the gorilla keeper]
it’s the year 1897
gorillas rule the zoo
they’re outta control
they eat a lot of guys
a lot of em
it’s horrible
but it wasn’t always like this
so sit down stranger
and let me tell you something
let me tell you a joke
the best gorilla joke of 1897

[act 1: charlie, alex, ben, alex & charlie]
the fools and i exit the cinema
it’s quarter past 9
we walk our way to the lincoln park zoo
have a good time
we hear noises from the gorilla enclosure
what was that, a whine?
we look in to see a mighty silverback
his eyеs are red as wine
dеspite this we move onto the monkeys
there’s not a f*cking line
guys i’m gonna call him luffy
ben what the f*ck?
i go to the snack cart for a coke
i want a lemon lime
when suddenly, there’s a crash at the gorilla cage
it’s probably fine
we go to the cages and nothing is amiss
i told you it was fine
wait.. that’s no gorilla that’s a plushie
it’s winton overtime
the gorilla has breached its containment
is he the one behind
the gorilla, he’s nowhere to be seen!
centuries of crime
[act 2: charlie, alex, the gorilla]
where did the gorilla go?
i* i don’t know man, i*
that gorilla is not the same as*
th* this is is a little too much for me right now
because, at the beginning of the song i mean when we first got to the zoo, that gorilla was not wearing glasses
i’m inclined to agree with you!
there’s something wrong here! gorillas are not supposed to be able to escape cages!
yep, mhm!
so if this gorilla was able to escape its cage, who knows what else it may be capable of
i’d really rather not think about that right now charlie
we must* we simply must get to the bottom of this. it’s not everyday we can solve a gorilla mystery
god, there’s just like all this broken glass, there’s some peanuts, there’s like that trail of banana peels
wait, alex! that’s it! if we follow the trail of banana peels, we can track the gorilla and put an end to all this madness
oh, no, charlie, i* i can’t
alex! get ahold of yourself man! if not us, then who? we’re the only ones capable of solving this
oh god…
we follow the trail of banana peels
oh no
many are soaked in blood
oh jeez
alex in need of words of encouragement
only i can offer him none
oh god
we walk through the visitor’s center
uhh
banana trail yet to run cold
mmm
torn shirts and souvenirs scatter the floor
with no chance to ever be sold
eek
we pass through to the guard’s quarters
please
the scent of blood thick in the air
oh why
i see what i think is a bloodstained hand
as alex screams in despair
help!
i rush forth to try to help him
agghh!!!
but all of my efforts are vain
look!
i try to look but i can’t move
for fear’s taken over my brain
gorilla!
ooo
ahh
ooo
ahh
[act 3: charlie, alex, max, gorilla]
what? there’s nothing there alex!
but*! but i swear to god i saw*
we have to keep it together! if we let fear cloud our minds, the three of us have no chance of surviving!
…the three of us?
wait…
ben
f*ck! the monkeys!
to the exhibit!
oh god, i can’t believe we lost ben
this is all because he wanted to be friends with that one piece character
the friends we lost along the way…
wait… why is the trail of banana peels leading back to the monkey exhibit
oh no… charlie… you don’t think…?
n*no.. of course not. wait, why is there a bl**dy straw hat on the ground??
i* is that
ooo
ahh
ooo
ahh
ooo
ahh
i see ben lying unconscious there
blood spewing out of his head and hair
i want to go over but do not dare
gorilla’s on the prowl, rip and tear
he’s tossing banana peels everywhere
half the supply, more than his own share
i hear a gorilla scream but know not from where
he pounds on his chest and descends from his lair
approaches us quickly, retreat to the straw hat
i’ve prepared for a lot, but this surely ain’t that
one thing’s for sure, we need to escape, stat
maybe we can ally ourselves with the bobcats
they’d attack us too, where is your head at?
my fault, just trying to not end a doormat
i’ll try to engage him in one on one combat
what are you saying, i ain’t cleaning allat
that a head on solution could be the best strat
he’s charging right at us, we’re about to go splat
aghhhhhh
*gorilla violence*
[outro: max]
“did you hear about the gorilla who escaped from the zoo?”
asked the gorilla
“no i did not,” the zookeeper replied
“that is because i am a quiet gorilla.”
*m*ffled sounds of gorilla violence*
oo oo ah ah

- parliament of fools lyrics

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