crunch bar bender (liquid famous diss track) - parliament of fools lyrics
[intro: alex]
hey, hey, hey!
this one goes out to the executive producer on our last album
except he didn’t executive produce sh*t
max did all the work
all this man did was come in
with those d*mn sunglasses (boutta eat a crunch bar)
and that self serving attitude of his (cause pof got bars)
and take credit for our work (boutta eat a crunch bar)
our slaving
bro didn’t do sh*t (cause pof got bars)
but he pretends like he really did something (boutta eat a crunch bar)
well this one’s for you dog (cause pof got bars)
so i hope you like it
i gеnuinely do (boutta eat a crunch bar)
becausе you could never make something like this
f*ck! (cause pof got bars)
not even a real guy man i swear
[verse 1: alex]
scooby dooby dooby dooby dooby dooby doo, b*tch
i think i found a clue as to why you’re such a tool, b*tch
pretending you’re a renegade like kelly on the blueprint
while the public can’t remember just who the f*ck you is
you’re anything but fluid
you’re hardly even human
band break up got you
feeling lonelier than cupid (i’m feeling lonely)
ate you like you’re reuben
and those red glasses stupid
ian should rearrange your face
and treat you like his rubix
katamari, on a roll
graduated, honor roll
fell behind, took a toll
2*bit hack, sold your soul
waaahhhhhh waaaahhhhhh
that’s you, that’s your soul leaving, wahhhh
just another wanna be sigma
but your broker than charlie, who spent 90 on a figma
just another wanna be singer
but your career is over, got diagnosed with ligma
[spoken word 1: alex]
hey, story time for the ones who don’t know
uh this man liquid cut in front of me one time
on the way* like in front of a red lobster
it was like a 30 minute line, i think it was valentine’s day
and like* you wouldn’t expect there to be like a big market for lobster couples, but* but like, there was*
anyway, this man, cuts in front of me, which…
you know, i say fine, he’s helping us with the album, it’s whatever
we get up to register, and this dude orders 17 lobsters!
he completely shuts down the means of production, and he ends up getting every lobster they have left in the back
i have to wait one hour and 72 minutes for the new lobster shipment, and my lobster is a third of the size of his
and he didn’t even finish! like…!
so i just wanna say, f*ck you for that liquid, i still want my d*mn lobster
f*cking guy
[verse 2: charlie]
this mother f*cker liquid
looking like a sick kid
who always fails to think big
cause he’s on that b*tch sh*t
never had a quick wit
so now he’s gotta get hit
this is what i’m saying
liquid’s gotta pay and
fools ain’t gonna take it
we’re just gonna shake him
down, liquid f*ck around and find
out, better just close your f*cking
mouth, we’re better than you without a
doubt, ooh i’m making you want to
shout, cry, scream, yell and
pout, need to put liquid in time
out, sound the way you do its a
crime, sh*t you make man it’s just
fine, don’t wanna hear from you not a
chime, f*ck you liquid, ain’t worth my
time, one thing about the fools, we out
rhyme
[spoken word 2: charlie]
alright yeah so i’m actually gonna drop the flow for this next part. so yeah, i was out on the links one time, y’know, me and the boys we go golfing from time to time. but anyway, so i hit one of my signature drives and hit it straight to the green because i’m that guy. and when i go to look at how awesome my shot was who do i see? liquid f*cking famous. now i expect him to be nice about it, maybe even compliment me on my signature drive, but nope. this guy walks on my f*cking. putt line. you just don’t do that. what the f*ck man. ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. anyway he’s just kinda a d*ck
[verse 3: alex, ben]
everyone’s along for the ride
braking at the light
and kissing bros goodnight
at least until it turns to ride or die
murder on the streets
ain’t no more don linguin
y’all just want a piece of the pie
lesser men could fake it
but we ate the cake and made it
unless it’s laced with a little cyanide
scared of people plotting deaths
but there’s anthrax on your breath
i drink water everyday
each and every type of way
in my mouth, on the couch
oh wait, lemme demonstrate
hoping you’re not too irate
jokes is jokes, and that’s it mate
getting hot under that collar
i heard liquid evaporates
gotta get me an umbrella
hit put on you, wise fellas
whining baby, crying “stella!”
your drip poor as cinderella
all your music’s getting old
legacy is growing mold
somehow you were never told
reign is over, time to fold
[spoken word 3: alex, ben]
hey, liquid, thi* this is ben, i think you* oh say hi ben
hi*
yeah, so i don’t know if you guys ever like, really met* wait no, no you guys did meet, i think, like* didn’t you guys pass each other one night, like a really hostile pass*
yeah like walked up next to me and i* i didn’t know how to feel, and he knocked my shoulder a little bit and i felt a little disoriented and*
yeah and ben has really bad ergonomics, so like it really messes with*
like he didn’t even say sorry, he just kinda looked at me like i was like a loser or something and walked off. like i’m not a loser, i’m not, i’m not a*
so messed up
yeah and i also think our shoes kinda touched, which i don’t like
big no no for him
and again, like i’m not a loser, like i’m really not, my friends know that i’m really cool and*
hey, ben, you’re not a loser buddy
but, i don’t know, like… maybe…
[transition: alex]
and now
introducing the final nail in your d*mn coffin
the legendary… crunch johnson!
[verse 4: crunch]
more men should be sl*tshamed
but you’re jacking off alone while you say you’ve got game
whining for girls when you have no flame
no spark, it’s lame, it’s a crying shame
you’re lacking those birds and broads and dames
liquid, you’re nothing but a blown up ego
you’ll never see, no
gonna pop that balloon with a needo
can’t peep what’s in front of your wee nose
ever since we was back in the biz show
it was a big show
can’t dig how far apart we’ve grown
i miss you, bro, now i’m all alone
i miss your eyes how bright in the limelight they shone
it was a big show
[outro: alex, sample]
woo! give another round of applause for crunch johnson!
that kid is hard
how’s that feel liquid? get me a verse on your piece of sh*t album, how about that?! man the things i’d do to you if i saw you, why i oughta* (censored) and then i’d* (censored), ooo i’ll (censored) with a rubber duck from goodwill. how’s that sound? oh, sh*t, um, max did you have anything you wanted to*
[post*outro outro: crunch]
there goes my hero
watch him as he goes
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