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horrible - panthadogg lyrics

verse 1:
and i’m still looking back at the days she slapped me in the face
in between patting me on the back for praise
ever since i wish i was able to restart
and that dad had said “don’t be a r*t*rd, be smart”
it shouldn’t have been all that hard to predict
that she was an out and out f*ckin d*ck
even my mates laughed thought it was absurd
this little snake and this demon turned out to be my bird
i remember she seduced me and used me like drugs
the z’s i lost werе in stacks like tugs
the messagеs she sent f*cked with my headshed
before we were ever permitted to spread out on the bedspread
and i never wished that she was dead
but kinda deported or banned instead
i remember the day she punched me right below my nipple
the shock and the wth factor made my guts ripple
and it was horrible

verse 2:
i look back at the corridor in school and she’dd stand there
point at my heart and say “there’s no other man there”
when she kissed me it felt awkward and her breath stank
of the fear from other men she drank
see when you’re an autistic person in a relationship
it’s hard to keep the dragon in and at the same time slay the b*tch
it was hard to tell what i should and shouldn’t stand for
this wasn’t the thing i could go to mum, dad or nan for
basically back then i was a mess
autistic meltdowns, pretending to rap to alleviate stress
and i didn’t know right from wrong
but it came to me whilst in the process of writing this song
i didn’t like who i was then cause i was naive
and my ego flew away in the breeze
fast forward to now and i still don’t like myself
she wanted me for her, despite myself
and it was horrible
verse 3:
i remember clearly the day she left
you won’t believe what happened next
the second i found out she left without telling me
looking back, i would have committed a felony
for all i know she was in a tandem with some other mandem
i had to send the message through a friend
to have that little common courtesy
i learned that you can’t refund a broken heart on a bursary
and i saw her recently
i tried to hide but already she’d seen me
she said she missed me and raging at her could have been easy
but my unforgivable crime is i’m too kind
yo, and the one thing i couldn’t be without
is the thing i’m with now whenever i’m in doubt
it holds me tight when i can’t properly let my anger out
and have an autistic meltdown in front of the whole town
cause even though you don’t see it
isn’t the reason you don’t believe it
and i ain’t gonna speak in tongues like yoruba
i could have f*cking k!lled her like the welsh say “bore da”
if the crows haven’t pecked your eyes out i hope you see this
something i can’t ignore and i won’t leave this
if you’re listening i don’t care if you didn’t mean it
you don’t f*ck with circle eitheror strength jesus
cause i’ll be horrible
outro:
f*cking horrible

- panthadogg lyrics

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