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this american life - painted zeros lyrics

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morning slips into my bed
wake up so tired i feel dead
obsessive thoughts in my head
and i’ve already taken all my meds

the dawn feels like a sigh
i don’t know if i’m alive

it’s hard to tell as daytime
becomes confused with night time
there’s just never enough time
i’m always tired
it’s hard to make the most of being so lucky
when i feel like a ghost most of the time

we walk outside into the yard
get in the car and drive north
i used to love looking at stars, but i don’t care anymore

exhale smoke to our eyes
so tired of life, so scared to die

i’m working every day now
$laving to a wage now
it drives me insane how hopeless i feel
i’m going to die someday, and that should be okay
because that’s how it is
that’s how it goes

and to combat feeling depressed
i take comfort in my smallness
i try not to fixate on this loss
but i can’t help these thoughts, these thoughts…

they happen every day now
in almost every minute
they happen when i want them, and when i don’t
i’m missing, and these moments only make me lonely
they only make me wish i could go back home

- painted zeros lyrics

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