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year of the horse - pacific purgatory lyrics

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it’s been a while since i last cried
i drown out the thoughts of suicide
with chemicals and lots of pills
but i guess its still cheaper than a hospital bill

but now i feel so numb and empty
i wouldn’t care if the world was ending
i have goals and pacific coast dreams
i also have low self esteem

socrates
and the apostles creed
and everything else that i’ve ever believed
is it all a sham is it all a lie?
i admit i’m afraid to die

alone
alone
i don’t want to die alone
alone alone
i don’t want to die on my own

i just wanna tour around the world
and matter the most to just one girl
but i don’t think that i ever will
everything moves fast but i stand still

now i am so numb and empty
i wouldn’t care if the world was ending
i’ve got problems with no remedies
i’ve also got self destructive tendencies

i’m a f*cking loser and i dont talk to girls
and i’ve never had a teenage romance unfurl
i listen to the beach boys in the darkness of my room
and i make my own music in the hopes of getting you

with me
with me
in holy matrimony
with me with me
i am so lonely

- pacific purgatory lyrics

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