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what you missed - original theater cast of rogers: the musical lyrics

[fury]
yah, yah, yah
here’s a notebook for you, steve
you’ll want to make a list
‘cause i’m gonna tell you
everything you missed
(spoken)
you ready?
let’s do this

[fury]
“i love lucy” was a tv show
that everybody knows
though personally it’s humor
was a little on the nose

[starkettes]
(sung to the tune of “i love lucy” theme song)
bah*dah*dah dah*dah dah*dah*dah

[rogers, spoken]
uh, what was that?

[fury]
that was a non*sequitur
lucy’s opening tune
and also you should probably know
we landed on the moon
[starkettes]
also you should really know
we landed on the moon

[rogers, spoken]
see, i would have started with that

[fury]
well then i guess that i’ll persist
and that is just a bit of what you missed
(spoken)
now let’s see, what else did i miss?
oh, yes, ah!

[fury]
a wall in berlin, germany
went up and then came down
steve jobs invented apple
now emojis smile and frown

[rogers, spoken]
emo–what?

[fury]
oh! thai food’s so delicious
and for star wars we are glad
and just in case you didn’t know
darth vader is luke’s dad
[starkettes]
(sung to the tune of “the imperial march [darth vader’s theme])”
bum*bum*bum bum
bum*bum bum bum*bum

[fury, spoken]
[pantomimed lightsaber fight]
luke, i am your father, ha*ha*ha!

[rogers, spoken]
uh, spoiler alert

[fury]
oh yes, it was quite the twist
ladies, can i get me an assist?
before i ruin everything you missed

[starkettes bump fury out of his spot]

[fury]
hey!

[starkettes]
oo, what you missed, what you missed, what you missed
woah*oh
[fury]
what you missed

[starkettes]
what you missed, what you missed, what you missed
woah*oh

[fury]
woah
(spoken)
five*six*seven*eight!
(sung)
nirvana is a band i know that plays so many tunes

[rogers, spoken]
okay, okay, okay, stop! stop! i appreciate all of that, but can you tell me why i’m here?

[fury, spoken]
easy. there’s an idea to bring together a group of remarkable people to accomplish a task, to be something greater

[rogers, spoken]
what people? what task?

[fury]
i’m so glad you asked!
[avengers enter]
they really are remarkable
although they’re all dispersed
we’ll call them “the avengers”
of which you are the first

[rogers, spoken]
the avengers? i like it
[fury]
captain marvel who’s off planet
not exactly how i planned it
iron man is now online
and i’m sure you’ll get on fine
our hulk is quite explosive
if not a touch impulsive
thor’s speech is kind of odd
did i mention he’s a god?
widow’s nimble like a cat
i’m sure that you can call her that
ant*man’s small but gives him h*ll
and hawkeye, yah he’s here as well
(spoken)
oh, and also

[rogers, spoken]
wait, there’s more?

[fury, spoken]
well, they’re not here but

[fury]
there’s a panther in wakanda
a sokovian named wanda
a star who is a planet’s son
an ai ran his own dot run
a pilot now a glider
and a teen bit by a spider
a lawyer who can’t really see
a raccoon and a talking tree
a pair of sisters, blue and green
winter soldier, war machine
a doctor on an astral plane
he used to work on people’s brains
i know that this all sounds insane
but you’re in charge so please retain

[fury & starkettes]
these heroes that you have to train

[rogers, spoken]
okay, okay, i think i get the gist

[fury]
so i’m afraid i must insist
it’s useless to resist
it’s time to re*enlist
‘cause there’s an evil in our midst
and now you know exactly what you missed

[starkettes]
oo, what you missed, what you missed, what you missed

[fury]
yah, what you missed

[starkettes]
woah*oh, what you missed, what you missed, what you missed

[fury]
get it tony, hey, oh
what you missed

[starkettes]
woah*oh
what you missed, what you missed, what you missed

[fury]
what you missed, what you missed, what you missed
yah

[starkettes]
yah, oo

[fury]
now you know exactly what you missed

[starkettes]
oh

- original theater cast of rogers the musical lyrics

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