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faint - original off broadway cast of penelope lyrics

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[telemachus, spoken]
well, it’s a little embarrassing to admit, especially as the son of odysseus!
even looking at your apr*n, i start to… feel something

[daphne, spoken]
you feel something when you look at me?

[telemachus, spoken]
i trust you not to tell anyone!

[daphne, spoken]
of course! tell me how you feel!

[telemachus, spoken]
okay, here goes

[sung]
i’m sure i could be a great warrior
i’d k!ll with no constraint
but i have this one little problem
at the sight of blood

[spoken]
i fai…

[daphne, spoken]
what was that?
[telemachus, spoken]
i fai…

[daphne]
i can’t understand you when you sound so faint

[telemachus]
for as long as i can remember
i’ve had the same complaint
couldn’t even smush a small spider
when i saw his blood
i’d faint!

[daphne, spoken]
you mean feint likе fake left and go right?

[telemachus, spoken]
no, i mean likе * oooh! pbblt

[sung]
and when your father has a reputation
for slaughtering and widespread devastation
it can be an awkward situation
for his son to have this limitation

[daphne]
i think
now i have the big picture
you tried your best to paint
you have what you see as a problem
when you see blood
you faint
[pigs]
(snickering)

[telemachus, spoken]
are those pigs laughing at me?

[daphne, spoken]
no, that’s the sound they make when they’re hungry
stop it!

[sung]
i can see your point
it can’t be easy
to k!ll in cold blood when blood makes you queasy

[telemachus]
i could stab a body ’til its shredded
if it didn’t make me so light*headed

[telemachus and daphne]
and when your father has a reputation
for slaughtering and widespread devastation
can’t imagine the humiliation
when people find that you’re his relation

[daphne]
trust me, it’s not such a big problem
in fact, i find it quaint
that you’re so in touch with your feelings
every now and then
you faint
let me just say, i like it immensely
everything you feel, you feel so intensely
[telemachus]
though others might not find it a bother
need i mention one more time, who’s my father?

[telemachus and daphne]
and when your father has a reputation
for slaughtering and widespread devastation
can’t imagine all of the frustration
dealing with this incapacitation

[telemachus]
i wish i could be like my father
it’s not like i’m a saint
but i have this one little problem

[daphne]
i feel for you and your problem
at the sight of blood
at the sight of blood

[telemachus]
please stop saying blood

[daphne]
no more talk of blood

[telemachus]
you’re still saying blood

[daphne]
…faint!

- original off broadway cast of penelope lyrics

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