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“like a million drunks...” - original cast of gutenberg! the musical lyrics

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[bud, spoken]
i… i can’t believe we’re almost to the end of the show

[doug, spoken]
i know!
i feel like my face is gonna fall off!
i mean… think about it, bud…
the next time we see this show…
we’ll probably be sitting where they are
in the audience!

[bud, spoken]
yeah, and… and it’ll be like real dirt streets and…
and real animals and…
and instead of, like, two drunks, there’ll be…
like a hundred drunks!

[doug, spoken]
like a thousand drunks!

[bud, spoken]
like a million!
like a million drunks

[doug, spoken]
what… um…
what was i supposed to talk about here?

[bud, spoken]
uh… suicide

[doug, spoken]
suicide, yes

now, did you notice how in that song
helvetica kept singing about wanting to k!ll herself?

[bud, spoken]
suicide is never the answer

[doug, spoken]
it’s a permanent solution
to a temporary problem…

[bud, spoken]
unless you have a terminal illness

[doug, spoken]
then it’s okay
then you should do it

- original cast of gutenberg the musical lyrics

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