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memory - original cast of aristos: the musical lyrics

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[patroclus]
i look towards
the distance
he’s calling my name

i’m running
to meet him
he grins and he waits

i wish i had a secret
i wish i had a thousand
and just so i could tell him every single one
and then i start to see it
i don’t know how to say it
it’s something like a question but it always comes undone

if he had not been mine
if he had not been mine…

[thetis]
i’m standing alone and
the wind steals my breath

i feel the storm approaching
you know what comes next

then something burns inside me
it’s something like a secret
at times, it feels like anger; at times, likе pride

i hold him like a grudge and yеt
i keep him like a promise
i know i didn’t choose him but i know that he is mine

if he had not been mine
if he had not been mine…

[patroclus]
achilles, racing down the hill, laughing and reaching for my hand. / achilles
[thetis]
/ achilles, the son i never wanted to bear. / achilles

[patroclus]
/ achilles, gazing at the sea, his eyes bright with longing. his voice brave and breaking. to troy, / he says**

[patroclus]
/ he says to me that he will not rise to fight. and when he says those words, i see the way their looks darken, / the way**

[patroclus]
/ the way the light teased joy from his eyes. his fingers running through his hair. his face honest with morning sunlight. / his

[ensemble]
hmm…

[thetis]
/ his father’s gentle, bruising hands. the waves that once sang “home,” now whispering of the day that man came to the sea and took me. the water turning grey as the morning dies, / as**

[priam]
/ as dawn spills blood over troy. as he arms for battle one last time, shouldering his armor and that quiet sadness. something lonely in his stride. / something**

[odysseus]
/ something crumbling as i hold my son for the last time. / something

[thetis]
/ something tearing, breaking. / something—
[patroclus]
/ something bending, yielding. / something—

[thetis]
/ something aching, rising, swelling like the tide. my child growing inside me:

[thetis & priam]
my vengeance

[thetis, phoenix, & priam]
and my hope

[patroclus]
everything

[thetis]
i vowed

[thetis, phoenix, & priam]
everything they took from me

[patroclus, thetis, phoenix, odysseus, priam]
i will give this boy everything

[patroclus]
too early to tell him
too late to forget
i’m counting down from twenty
and time holds its breath

[patroclus, thetis, phoenix]
the memories come like rainfall
the earth is crushed to sweetness
and everything is holy and turns to gold

[thetis]
his hair about his shoulders

[patroclus]
it tangles with the sunlight

[patroclus, thetis, priam, & phoenix]
and somehow i already know i won’t see him grow old
if he had not been mine
if he had not been mine
if he had not been mine
then what would i have been?

[odysseus]
ahh…

[patroclus]
he turned from tomorrow
and you are the reason
and you are the reason

[odysseus]
he swore that he would go with you
he said he’d be there tomorrow
and though you came to troy
he somehow stayed that boy
and you are the reason

[patroclus]
tell me about your son

[odysseus]
i can’t

[patroclus]
i understand

[odysseus]
no. i mean that—i was called to sail to skyros just after he was born. i was taken from him when he was days old. i never knew him

i would imagine raising him. i would spin all manner of anecdotes from his boyhood, and i would tell them to anyone in the camp who would listen, and i would almost believe them. i see a different boy in my head every night, almost like i have a thousand sons. sometimes he looks like you

[patroclus]
he does?

[odysseus]
sometimes he looks like achilles

there is one memory i do have with him. a lullaby i sang to him every night, even before we brought him into the world. an old song. a springtime song

tomorrow perhaps**

[young achilles]
not again

[patroclus]
i am not finished

tomorrow perhaps**

[young achilles]
chiron is waiting for us

[patroclus]
achilles told me**

[young achilles]
tomorrow perhaps i will sleep past the sunrise
and find that you’d gone in the night

[patroclus]
tie wings to my sandals, i’ll drink from the sky

[young achilles, patroclus, odysseus]
and i’ll be by your side by and by

‘cause where you go

[young achilles]
i will go with

[young achilles & patroclus]
i will go with you

[odysseus]
i cannot follow

[young achilles & patroclus]
oh, don’t you know
my childhood is in your eyes?

[odysseus]
oh, don’t you know
tomorrow was in your eyes?

[patroclus]
i will go with you

[odysseus]
i cannot follow

[patroclus]
i will go with you

[odysseus]
i cannot follow

[patroclus]
i will go with you

[odysseus]
i cannot follow**

[patroclus]
you shouldn’t stay amongst us too long. leave your offering and go

[odysseus]
this isn’t an offering. i brought a handful of your ashes with me. yours and achilles’. i wanted to bring them back to mount pelion

[patroclus]
you’ve lingered with us long enough. scatter them to the winds. you find your way and we’ll find ours. go home, odysseus

[odysseus]
you didn’t get to

[patroclus]
but you do. so tell our story

[odysseus]
what good will it do you?

[patroclus]
i don’t know. perhaps it will do you some

[odysseus]
what shall i say?

[patroclus]
say that there were two boys who raced each other to the sunrise. say that one went too far, and the other went with him

[odysseus]
and how should i end it?

[patroclus]
however you’d like. turn us into trees. or change us into birds. hang us in the stars, if your gods are generous

[odysseus]
what would you become?

[patroclus]
what?

[odysseus]
if the gods could change you, what would you become?

[patroclus]
anything

[odysseus]
anything?

[patroclus]
anything. i’d become whatever he does

[odysseus]
you did

a boy. a man

[patroclus]
a lover

[odysseus]
a fool

[patroclus]
a soldier

[odysseus]
a hero

best of the myrmidons

best of the greeks

aristos achaion

- original cast of aristos the musical lyrics

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