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men - original broadway cast of whoop-up lyrics

that no good shiftless, shameless, low down
chippy chasin’ drugstore indian
courtin’ me while he’s playing house
with some snake hipped jezebel!
that beer belchin’ tooth pickin’
pommade headed dog faced gulch rat
i’ve been his dish rag, door mat
and pin cushion, long enough!

of all the creatures that walk on the earth
fly in the sky and swim in the sea
from texas to j*pan…
from korea to cheyenne…
the lowest in my opinion is man!
let me tell you about men

the almighty gave thеm just enough brains
to make fools of themsеlves

men! most of ’em have nothing, owe everybody
and leave the rest to charity

men! there’s only one thing in the world
worse than a man, and that’s his father

men! with a woman a lie is the last resort
with a man it’s first aid!

men! they’re the only animals that eat when they’re not hungry
drink when they’re not thirsty and are ready to “you*know*what”
any hour of the day or night

men! the more i think about ’em
the more i like dogs

girls, the best way to fight them is with your hat
grab it and run!

i’ve made up my mind
i’ve made up my mind
that bull throwin’ tonto
can find another squaw
i still have my pride
i still have my pride
and possession is nine*tenths of the law
i’m brushin’ off that whiskey pirate
two bit bankrupt no good cree
he two timed this one gal
just one time too much
i’m unloading that free loader *
and i’m hangin’ a sign in my saloon
and it’s gonna read in god we trust
everyone else pays cash!

i’ve had it up to here, d’ya hear…d’ya hear?
d’ya hear?
up to here, d’ya hear?!

men! they were born to lie
and women were born to believe them

men! they were invented to give women
an enemy!

men! the worst advice you can give a man
is to tell him to be himself

men! the only promises men can keep
are promises they never make

sure!
tell them how good they are
they’ll listen for hours
tell ’em the truth and they’re off
in a cloud of dust
mani they’re fed by cattle, clothed by sheep
protected by dogs and imitated by monkeys
the way i see it they have two faults
everything they say! and everything they do!

no man is manhandlin’ me
i’m layin’ down the law!
first man who dares show his face
i’m showin’ him the door
yes sir, this gal is sleepin’ single
she’s through with men
she knows exactly what she
can do with men

no bum in boots
is lousin’ up my life
to think i once thought
i’d be some fella’s wife
ha!
i’d rather eat with hogs
i’d rather sleep with skunks
i’d sooner kiss a rattlesnake
than any man…

men!

godd*mn men!

- original broadway cast of whoop up lyrics

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