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father's house - old notes lyrics

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taste of cigarettes
even though i’ve never handled such things
coffee reinforcing my memories
of burnouts at my father’s house
ontario makes me feel like i’m going downhill
holt reminds me of what i’ve become
kissing your lips makes me feel like i’m in the backwoods of my house
finals week has never been so sh-tty
i’m just waiting for the moment to be my self

a broken tiny desk
even though i’ve never done violent things
anger reinforcing my memories
of doorways in sechrist hall
flagstaff makes me feel like i’m going down hill
college reminded me of what i’ve become
finals week has always been so sh-tty
i’m just waiting for the moment to be myself

i found myself
cutting at the wires that
connected my
sanity and vanity
it’s the only thing
that brought me closer to
my thoughts which questioned
everything and anything
i think of all the times that i’ve done wrong to whom
i cared about
now i’m singing a different tune
and i’m hating myself

these distractions
somber feelings
existential reasoning
that leads me to my despair
with no repair
with no repair
with nothing at all
with nothing left to live for

i have nothing left to live for
i have nothing left to live for
i have nothing left to live for
i have nothing at all

i found myself
cutting at the wires that
connected my
sanity and vanity
it’s the only thing
that brought me closer to
my thoughts which questioned
everything and anything
i think of all the times
that i’ve done wrong to whom
i cared about
now i’m singing a different tune
and i’m hating myself
i hate myself

- old notes lyrics

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