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calling and not calling my ex - okkervil river lyrics

she was once mine
that smile that shines from the glossy magazine that stuck inside the sunday times
she was so sweet on christmas eve
with the snow set deep, when we went walking through the pines
i had just been fired and her first offer had arrived
and the new year would see her flying far away from me
though i didn’t know it at the time

with outstretched hands
now she commands
a famous figure for every picture
and she stands up strong and she demands
and they deliver
yeah, she’s a fixture

and it’s a mixture of dumb jealousy and fear that i might feel, should she appear
just like it hasn’t been three years
and there’s a distance to her voice over the phone and that’s because she stands alone
while i’m still sitting here

girl, you see me here on another quiet night
i will wait until another indistinguishable day arrives
i’ll decide where the light’s even and bright
where my life’s sweet as it’s slightly, disappointedly, just gliding softly by

and you won’t wait for me in some secluded stand of trees some christmas eve some god was kind enough to set aside
although i’d love you to, i’m proud of you
god knows i’m feeling really stupid now
for having ever said goodbye

during the fight
i said, “yeah right”
when you insisted that i visit, that you’d write
now, i know you’re working hard so i never hear from you, and that’s fine
you look the same on tv as when you were mine
i walk in from the kitchen and i finger the remote control
i watch you from the distance, you go walking through the terminal
i remember ever instance, when you stung me
oh, you’re so lovely
oh, you’re so smart

so, go turn their heads, go knock them dead, go break their hearts
go break their hearts
baby, break their hearts
and i know you will

- okkervil river lyrics

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