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bear - ohtearsofjoy lyrics

[verse 1]
ohhhh
mom i love ya
but why am i ashamed when i dissociate?
deep embedded trough, you say that you relate
then why the f-ck you make me wanna leave the state?
maybe it’s because i’m getting downplayed. (really dumb sh-t)
saying my time at purchase was a real f-cking waste
calling me a snowflake like you casting some abusive bait. (p-ssy)
how my tears taste? ohtearsofsorrow, thank you for the wait
i want to love you but i’m thinking back to harrow times
i recall the night you called my suicide attempt a lie
just because of my problems with ident-ty in high school
but would you like some proof that i really tried to f-cking die?
you thought it was impulse
ex cheated on me check, that was what i told the f-cking nurse
but she knew that buried sh-t be coming back if i be feeling cursed
don’t call me bear if you mean it
a name since a baby when i be it
in denial when you think about the g-y sh-t
i know that you’re uncomfortable but you just won’t ever claim it
f-ck is your prerogative?
ominous mantra, h-llish gaga, just to catch ya?
bring me down to match ya
born a red blooded baby, suffocate my skin blue
i’m left on the side of the road when you try and fail to make anew
maybe you can tell me what the f-ck’s up with my deep end
you claim you got files thinking you know what gets me beaten
slouch on the weekends, “oh this causes your mental state”
based on papers that haven’t been renewed since 1998
kept my mind off you by smoking cigarettes with used bics
drank myself to blackout just to k!ll myself from being sick
let me remind you that i’ve been yearning for a new kick
but you kept holding me back like my dad and i hope it f-cking clicks

[verse 2]
ohhhh
father i love ya
but why am i ashamed when i dissociate
i remember when we went to my therapist, just the two of us
i explained this problem, and you got p-ssed that you couldn’t relate
yeah that’s my fault huh?
what the f-ck you feeling? what you think leaves me stained?
why am i the one who feel as if you’re looking for a gain
gaslighting my -ss with your sh-t that you prepare to feign
ever since your dad died you’ve been soaking in the legend life
i know i was guilty of exploiting all my family ties
i’m a f-cking [bleeped], i’m a f-cking [bleeped]
they all made my privilege so emboldened and now i hate that we’re so canonized
i’m afraid to commit quote unquote family treason
frank ocean’s dad sued his son for similar reasons
go play f-cking golf with your sh-t friends next season
while everyone looks at you like you’re the son of jesus
let me know how you feel when i become estranged
i’m the black sheep of the family who lacks the prideful name
nonchalant about it now while you’re in such a desperate pain
call me back when you clearly f-cking see why our bond has waned
early in the morning you wake up and i hear your footsteps
expecting me lethargic, but you b-tch when i’m calling off your bets
don’t be calling me your f-cking fan when you refuse to get
everything about me i’ve repeated, that’s the way it’s set
yeah you’re so embarr-ssed
embarr-ssed when i’m acting out against you if you’re acting like a smug f-ck
drink your orange juice and spill it out for me to clean it up
both of us be knowing that our friendship’s running out of luck
i’ve run out of patience and it’s hard for me to love you
it’s hard for me to love you and it’s harder to respect you
one of these days i’ll prolly come to terms with every side of you
but right now you should bear my f-cking anger from my point of view

[outro]
find the irony of calling me bear
find the irony of calling me bear
i know you love and care
but it is so much to bare
find the irony of calling me bear
find the irony of calling me bear
find the irony of calling me bear
i’ll go there, and you know i’ll go there
i’ll go there
i’ll go there

- ohtearsofjoy lyrics

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