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i'm late - offbeat lyrics

[intro]
what time is it?
oh no, not again!

[verse 1]
let me tell you all about a problem of mine
and how hard i find arriving at places on time
’cause no matter when i leave to reach my destination
the journey always exceeds my estimation
i don’t ever mean to be tardy on purpose
i just get distracted by things that seem urgent
my wife could be in labor screaming “what you waiting for?”
while i’m seeing if i’d be in gryffindor or ravenclaw (oli!)
right, right, right (gryffindor, obv.)
it got so bad that i arranged a visit to the doc’s
to see if there’s a cure for my life*long affliction
i made an appointment, but sadly i missed it
if you don’t believe me, you check with my friends
they’ve started to lie about when to get to events
they’ll tell me that it’s 6 when it’s 7 pm
but the joke’s on them, ’cause i’ll still turn up at 10

[hook]
i’m late (oh!), i’m late (oh!), i’m always running late (oh!)
my mate’s all get frustrated ’cause i always make ‘em wait (oh!)
i’m late (oh!), i’m late (oh!), and now i’m in a state (oh!)
because no matter what i do, it seems that’s just my fate (oh!)

[verse 2]
i got an interview for the job of a lifetime
so set 3 alarms, just ’cause i know what i’m like
but on this occasion, they weren’t actually needed
’cause i was so excited that i woke up at half 5
i jumped in my ride and i slapped in the postcode
but roadworks meant that that way was a no*go
so took my own route * an unusual tact
to assume that i knew better than google maps
as if to prove a fact, i got totally lost
and had to phone up the boss who was appropriately cross
when i finally got there and started explaining
i was sweating so much, they asked if it was raining
i did the interview and it could a gone better
so didn’t have high hopes when they sent me the letter
i opened it regardless and read the first line
“we regret to inform you”, huh, what a surprise

[verse 3]
i met a chick at a gig and we hit it off
arranged to link for a drink and a bit of nosh
didn’t plan to get drunk on the first date
but decided to take the bus just in case
now i’m outta practice, ’cause i’m usually driving
and when i get to the bus stop, i see it arriving
so i dive in quickly, because i don’t wanna miss it
buy a ticket and start sitting without reading the signage
i sit back, relax and watch the world go by
but something about the journey doesn’t feel quite right
but by the the time that i’ve made the connection
we’ve gone 5 stops in the wrong direction (stop!)
when i do eventually get to the pub
she’s not there, so i guess she’s think i stood her up
i call to explain and her phone starts ringing
“sorry i’m running late, i’ll be there in a minute”

[outro]
pffft, i dunno mate
i mean, who shows up late on the first date?
do you know what i mean?
i mean i know i was late, but that was different
that was extenuating circumstances
i just can’t imagine being with someone like that, y’know?
it just shows such a lack of respect
it’s just, it’s just so rude!

- offbeat lyrics

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