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before i leave - nugatory hope lyrics

v1:
i want to grow, but can only fester
in this home and hearth
the truth’s leaking in through a hole in my conscience
commixing with my lies
sp*wning a spar with a heinous charade
that lives to see me fall
slowly, i’m gulled by its sheen of pretense
enslaved, entombed by my alibi

refrain:
so before i leave, just remember this one thing
and when i leave, it’s the only thing i need
just forget my name

v2:
constant downfall
somehow, penance is in their hands
duly implacable, ‘cause i’m the way i am
my iniquity’s always the catalyst for ruination
suffocated by isolation’s stringent chains that forbid escape
misanthropic and filth*ridden, they loathe me, so
i plan escape in spite of all their disbelief

give me a lie
give me a farce
because i know i live as a lie to be told
(it’s all okay)
spreading about
stain on the world’s all that i am
propagating everything i hate
(about myself)
destitute of any f*cking palpable integrity
a worthless, soulless, crass, inept reject
void of humanity
refrain:
so before i leave, just remember this one thing
and when i leave, it’s the only thing i need
just forget my name

chorus:
my different avenues of failure have
found success in reducing me down to this:
a desolate, sick, pathetic subhuman being
so before i leave, just take me as a
lesson in the irony of your dreams and
what the world wants you to be

outro:
god! please f*cking help!
these thoughts, they never falter
never falter in this h*ll!
make it end! all of this!

take me away!

- nugatory hope lyrics

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