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what cost? - nolxck lyrics

[verse 1]
i was a misfit didn’t fit in with all the other kids
couldn’t put me with the emos i couldn’t stand their sh-t
i didn’t care about the cool kids f-ck a reputation
relying on your followers to take the l and meet the maker check your f-cking statement think you missed a bit you f-ckin snitch
from the hood but i hated all the hood rats
they were all too f-cking stupid for me
i was thinking how to get away with crimes
committed by the people higher than my age
but it worked anyway quick slide got away
they just tryna roll some f-cker in the streets, groups of three it just ain’t right for me
try my hand at selling weed i’m making greens
but the money didn’t go to me
so i said f-ck my peers and selling weed
i’ll write some sh-t
it took me five years and a drug binge to finally see what i wanna be
everybody tells me that i try to be other people
but you must be trippin, i’ve been the way i am
since i was young feeble i was impressionable
mental illness changed the way i view life, on some real sh-t no matter what you do you make a choice, do or die
and we make mistakes were humans, me and you
don’t deny
yeah i get high what the f-ck you gotta say cause it’s my life
you don’t get to say sh-t, i make mistakes i learn
and i yearn for life of that rap god
i cause strife on the mic call me cloud
i’m the face of the sesh say it proud
try to push my b-ttons and i’ll get loud
my minds a f-cking labrynth if you hear bullets you better get down
“it’s a f-cking warzone in here” no f-cking doubt
mixtures of bullies and thoughts that i never expected
my mind sending mixed messages
here’s a quick lesson don’t go messing with things that you don’t understand

[verse 2]
young and fearless in the trap
no i ain’t never held a gat
or any gun for that matter
big knives are my latter
sharp enough to cut a f-cking ladder
get me madder
find out what happens
when i’ve got the giant dagger
where’s the hatter
big brother where he atta
and ma where’s she gone
what you mean it doesn’t matter
why you telling me to run
got a little older
and i learnt what’s done is done
i got my life saved. but i wonder at what cost
the times we spent together and i never knew it all
what led you to this place and why you call this life your home
it’s been a couple years and i still think that it’s a war
silent in the streets and police weren’t even called
i’ve never been back
i didn’t think i ever would
i’ve got my life together
better than i ever thought
but at what cost
all homies been down too far and too long
i knew i’d never get em back so i said so long
abandoning the gang but i was just an addon
expendable, getting walked upon
corpses in the back i’m never moving on
pistols and sh-t hidden on a rack
i was never really gone
my mind’ll take me back
any day i’m feeling wrong
that night felt like iraq
never really done

[verse 3]
people hate me cause of who i am
and the things that i choose to do
i struggled with the thought of that
and now it’s loose
things i’ve done i know i can’t change that
and i’m okay with that
i’m with okay with who i am
what it cost? it cost something
moving out the hood
we ain’t living on nothing
and it feels good
because i know i’m not f-cking around
no more selling drugs in the background
i got the time to go create some nice sounds
and i get choose when it’s lights out
i can stay outside and watch the stars
it’s nice out
now hold up time out
so many thoughts that i live with
have personified
and become their own demons
now my demons got demons
and i can hear em screaming in the silence
cause the silent nights are the times where i feel wildest
vividly feeling like i did eight years ago what’s the time man?
what’s the date?
cause it feels like the past and i’m close to my mistakes
f-ck it, i’ll just numb it out
and then the top the cake my dog
p-sses away i wasn’t home, i was pilled up in state
f-ck it, i’m just a pilled up mistake
i got no worth why the f-ck do i stay
just take me away
i got no reason to pray
i wasn’t raised religious
but for a night i was feeling like i needed it
an ent-ty to save me
or take me
i just wanted it all to end
hit the pavement
i was craving
so many different drugs
i was phasing in and out of my own life

[outro]
i’m coming to jump on a motherf-cker
and i’m coming to take the top
take it off
belt is mine
f-ck the cops
f-ck the opps
f-ck the people faking knots
watch me cut the ties
like a string in an armani shop
with precision because i’m tired of cover shots

- nolxck lyrics

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