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there's no 'too soon' if time is relative - nofx lyrics

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i don’t feel like movin’
don’t feel like talkin’
i’m feelin’ a little stephen hawking today
i barely feel like rollin’
there’s no way i’m rockin’
i’m feelin’ a little stephen hawking, hey hey hey

when i saw him on tv
i thought he looked crazy
then my friend told me that he’s just really lazy
so lazy he could only write a brief history of time
he maybe smart but to me he’s just a creepy narcoleptic mime

i wanna be like stephen
so i’m gonna walk uneven
and havin’ trouble breathin’
hey, hey, hey

i’m gonna live by gravitational law
i’m gonna try to drink a cheeseburger through a straw
and make my hand look more like a lobster claw
hey, hey, hey

but bein’ stephen must be kind of a drag
it looks like even his t–th are startin’ to sag
i thought he had a tail he was tryin’ to wag
but then i learned the tail was a tube
’cause he’s so lazy that he p–ps in a colostomy bag

oh stephen, oh stephen
you give me somethin’ to believe in
don’t wanna hear ’em, don’t wanna see ’em
i think he might have melted in a wax museum

oh stephen, oh stephen
are you robot posin’ as a human bein’?
oh stephen, oh stephen
you give us all a super creepy feelin’

- nofx lyrics

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