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no reason boner - ninja sex party lyrics

[spoken intro]
this song is about a problem that i have
frequently

[verse 1]
there are three, three, three kinds of erections
some are s-xual, some occur during
periods of nervous tension
but there’s a mysterious third kind
that no one really understands
it happens when your shlong decides
to take matters into its own hands

[chorus]
no reason b-n-r
no reason b-n-r
it baffles scientists
no reason b-n-r

[verse 2]
this morning i was having breakfast
at the midtown diner
the bagel was delicious
and the coleslaw couldn’t be finer
got a weird look from the waitress
when i asked her for the check
i looked down and realized
i was one hundred percent erect

[chorus]
no reason b-n-r
no reason b-n-r
i like coleslaw but not that much
no reason b-n-r

[skit 1]
[mailman] hi! welcome to the post office
[danny] thanks! i just need to mail this package
[mailman] no problem, just place it on the scale
[danny] sure thing!
oh! oh god! i, i can’t right now!
[mailman] why not?
[danny] i, i have to go. i have a, uh, doctor’s appointment at the dentist’s!

[verse 3]
now things are a little awkward
between my mailman and i
that was not my best lie
i was just covering up for my

[chorus]
no reason b-n-r
no reason b-n-r
that was the wrong kind of package to mail
no reason b-n-r

[skit 2]
[zookeeper] hi! welcome to the zoo!
[danny] great! i love the zoo! look at all those monkeys!
[zookeeper] actually, those technically aren’t monkeys, they’re macaques
[danny] wow! macaque’s really hairy!
uh, so, what time does the zoo close?
[zookeeper] about eight o’clock
[danny] great! that gives me a chance t– oh god
oh, not- not now! not in front of the children!
why have you forsaken me lord!?

[bridge]
this is no laughing matter
this is not some kind of game
i can tuck away my johnson
but i can never tuck away the shame
it can happen anytime
it can happen anywhere
when the loch ness monster
decides he wants to randomly come up for air

[chorus]
no reason b-n-r, oh!
no reason b-n-r
you’re ruining my life
no reason b-n-r

[outro]
no reason b-n-r
no reason b-n-r
why?
…b-n-r

- ninja sex party lyrics

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