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father figure - nick grant lyrics

[verse 1: nick grant]
when i was a young n-gga you were like my idol
still you left me for p-ssy, this sh-t just goes in cycles
man it’s a shame, gotta watch your path when the ones that guide you
wish i could be more two-facested, cause sh-t, i look just like you
heart on my sleeve, was barely five and watched my momma cry
you blacked her eye cause you was snaking, had her wrapped in lies
all i could think about was rapid fire, blasting nines
go ask for god, i pray the pastor got some slacks your size
so asinine, my be-ginning’s no different, we were you and living poor
used to beat my brother cause you said the n-gga wasn’t yours
as my n-ggas get all the sh-t that my momma couldn’t afford
man she still addicted cause you introduced her to the raw
eddie kane, how you came back just singing that some old song
sipping empty 20/20, put some hair up on your b-lls lil n-gga
this sh-t just hurts my heart, tryna paint a perfect picture
ain’t no filter for these thoughts, and i just want my father

[verse 2: nick grant]
inside im praying for help and n-ggas wonder why i stay to myself
no daddy t-tles, them lables’ll get you placed on a shelf
aye, who gon call the shots, when i gave this game to myself
i’m on the rise, just know your son is raising himself
i wrote this song so i forgive you, when i start then there’s my blessing
feel sorry for my sister, hope your karma doesn’t catch her
your blood is running through my veins
still crying tears thick enough to wash away the pain
why should i answer your call, remember screaming “i can’t wait to grow up”
man you said you was on your way, but you ain’t never show up
that’s f-cked up, my shoes scuffed up
wish i could say i followed your steps, but never that, the hood judged us
trust this sh-t is hard and now i need a challenge
but all these unstable homes left a n-gga unbalanced
peep how i dress up my feelings, how could i be so stylish?
these are the long-term effects of dealing with your absence
now you wanna be a father n-gga?

[verse 3: nick grant]
yeah, feel this, uh
sorry i made your sh-t hard, and all that sh-t you saw i did to your moms
we never found our way, it chased us at odds, these are the dangers i’ve caused
you kept your distance, dissed me, then placed up a wall, face it
our love’s a test and i pray i ace it tomorrow; wasted
this alcohol kicks in, i get the courage to face all the things that i resent
wish i could try again, but she’s no saint, please don’t think i’m pointing fingers n-gga
cause these attempts are so genuine, i’m so anxious
and dying, your trying to make peace while i’m here
hungry for forgiveness my n-gga, don’t feed me this fear
just let me know when you get this call
cause every second you let p-ss, i get closer to god
i lost my heart n-gga

[outro]
hey nick, this is your aunt may. i’m just calling to tell you that your dad p-ssed this morning. it’s a big pill to swallow but it’s something we gotta deal with, so stay strong and give me a call when you get up. love you

- nick grant lyrics

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