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journal entry - nezzy official lyrics

[verse 1: nezzy]

i’m writing this on the flight back home
on airplane mode
with the beat playing in my headphones
baby girl sleeping in the seat next to me
spent the past week in la
under palm tree shade
making short lived memories
still high on that california energy
ive seen so many therapists
but the music is the only therapy i need
these ain’t songs, these journal entries
exercising this freedom of speech
till they lock me in a cage or put me 6 feet deep
interrupted by the turbulence
hopе it can shake off some of this discouragemеnt

im no longer a slave & a servant to anxiety
im focused on sobriety
trynna elevate my mental state
& reach a higher me
sometimes to obtain peace
you must react violently
got a angel on my left
& the devil on the right of me
i’m in the middle of a constant rivalry
peer pressures an excuse for compliancy
don’t be a sheep in the heard of society
i hate bring up the past & talk about my lows
but everything we bottle up
is stunting our growth, so
let’s talk about it, this how it started
i was 18 months old when my pops came home
& caught my mom cheating
on him with another man
over & over again it would keep happening
he tried to make it work for us kids
but their toxic marriage flooded that house
my own mother was a cheating spouse
& they wonder why i acted out
i was 9 with a self destructive mind
ironically they got divorced
right around the same time
my older sister got the worst of it
she was 14 when my mom decided she gon
put her own daughter on dr. phil
had to switch schools
everything was going downhill
the goosebumps come around still
first it was the coke, next it was the pills
drowning out emotion
till there’s nothing left to feel
sprinkling percocets on my oatmeal
i was saving money by finding ways to steal
this just surface level sh*t
there’s so many details i ain’t share yet
smiling was the only way pain expressed but
the studios my sanctuary when i need to vent
i don’t remind myself enough of how proud
i am of all the obstacles that i’ve overcame
all the progress i’ve made
still got a lot of bullsh*t on my chest
but imma save it for another page

- nezzy official lyrics

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