old ways - nexxx lyrics
[intro]
let’s turn that clock back
(how far back)
not quite as far as last time
(could this be considered like, memories pt. 2?)
f*ckin’, i don’t know, prolly not, does it even matter? let’s just get to the point
on some real sh*t
[verse]
it’s time for me to address some sh*t that i ain’t done addressed yet
lookin’ back upon my old self, it be my best bet
i try to improve myself the best i can from day to day
i delve deep in my brain, the best way to create change
i was 12 years old, approximately 2016
i knew i wasn’t too young to understand what this sh*t means
i started sayin’ things with the sole purpose of makin’ people p*ssed off
spewin’ hateful sh*t because i knew that it was this awful
in the name of not givin’ a f*ck
i didn’t know that i was pushin’ my luck
i didn’t know what a digital footprint or what a reputation was
i knew it was hurtful, but i was diggin’ the rush
i didn’t take into account that the people behind the screen had feelings
and those same feelings, they can get hurt
mine were hurt badly before, and i know that’s what i was concealing
that wake up call was goin’ off but i misheard
yes, i used to sling around hateful rhetoric
i used to look at other people like i was better than them
maybe it was the influences that i put myself around
maybe it was the fact i live in a small right wing town
maybe it was an alcoholic that lived with us for nine months
who happened to be g*y, but did that ever come to mind once? no
that man is my uncle, and now he means the f*ckin’ world to me
‘cause i put aside his addiction, and put aside all my own bigotry
i used to get annoyed when people would say to use they pr*nouns
but if only back in those days i knew what i know now
what if that was my kid? what if that was yours?
what if it was you that people all had hatred for?
people not wantin’ to call others a different name, cause they own bias
what if you changed your name and no one ever called you by it?
what if people started callin’ you a f*ggot, because of who you loved?
the day that we give up will be the day we have a blue sun, inverted color
and color’s just another part of this sh*t
the struggles people go thru cause of they pigment of skin
it’s f*ckin’ sickenin’, back then was a dark time
talkin’ sh*t behind a screen, whenever i went online
i can’t believe some of the f*ckin’ words i’ve said
even if i didn’t mean it, i was f*cked in the head, now that part of me’s dead
i k!lled it off myself, did it for my own health
‘cause i grew up and realized that hate did not help
the sh*t i said was racist, it was lgbt*phobic
i was an ignorant f*ck, and i’m aware enough to notice
and i’ll forever hold myself accountable for sayin’ what i said
i’ll do whatever it takes to make up for that sh*t ‘til i’m dead
i got called a f*ggot too, i didn’t like that sh*t
on the school bus, i wanted to fight that kid
i asked my mom what a f*ggot was, and she flipped her lid
told me to never say that sh*t, cause it was offensive
i wish i’d listened, now i live in regret for my words
i wish i’d known how much that sh*t f*ckin’ hurt
i heard that kendrick song, and got inspired to write this verse
so i can maybe help spread awareness on this earth
i didn’t like the names tossed at me, you think they do?
whites, blacks, straights, trans, and of course g*ys too
all of us humans bleed the same, the color of red
like the sea that moses split to guide the israelites away from they deaths
hatred for others has always been somethin’ embedded in our world
like an infection, a corruption, sick sh*t that makes your toes curl
how long we gonna keep it goin’? ‘til the inevitable end?
until we all out sufferin’ for each one of our sins?
love who you love, don’t fill your heart up with hate
respect for each other’s what we need at the end of the day
i’m happy that i’ve changed, and that my mind is more flexible
for now i am 18, coming out to you as bis*xual
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