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if only - newtown neurotics lyrics

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all i seem to do is sit here thinking of you
when pleasure and pain become one and the same
it leaves me dazed and confused
i have a lock of your hair, snarled up in a curled elastic band
not given in love but pulled out from your head
the last night you spent in my bed

chorus:
if only you knew, just how much you’ve been torturing me
if only you knew, well if only i could stop thinking
if only you knew

hassles in life, they will come and go
but the hardest thing i have found
is trying to live with myself

i can’t get to sleep, i infrequently eat
and i’m smoking my way back to yellow stained t**th
mention cancer to me and i’ll inwardly freeze and vow never again
i want to relive the passions of those days
skin cells under fingernails and sheets in disarray
and that feeling of calm as i lay in your arms and i’d whisper into your ear

chorus:
if only you knew, just how much you’ve been torturing me
if only you knew, well if only i could stop thinking
if only you knew

what they have said, i don’t give a d*mn
they see the world different from me
and you know they always have

chorus:
if only you knew, just how much you’ve been torturing me
if only you knew, well if only i could stop thinking
if only you knew

that i’m missing you, if only you knew, if only you knew

(copyright drewett published by present time publishing 1988)

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