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if a girl isn't pretty - new broadway cast of funny girl lyrics

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[mrs. strakosh]
if a girl isn’t pretty
like a miss atlantic city
all she gets from life
is pity and a pat
kindly name a star who hasn’t
won a contest or a pageant
if she hasn’t she just never gets to bat

[mrs. meeker]
she must shine in every detail
like a ring you’re buying retail
be a standard size that
fits a standard dress
[mrs. strakosh]
when a girl’s incidentals
are no bigger than two lentils

[f*nny, spoken]
really, mrs. strakosh?!

[mrs. strakosh & mrs. meeker]
then to me it doesn’t spell success

[mrs. brice]
from two faces that could cause ya
to have temporary nausea
do i have to hear a lеcture such as that?
is a nose with deviation
such a crimе against the nation?
should i throw her into jail or drown the cat?
so she’s built a bit off balance
she possesses golden talents
or is that a pill to bitter to digest?

[spoken]
ignore the dragons, fannele

[f*nny, spoken]
don’t you worry, mrs. strakosh
one day the whole world will look at me and be… stunned!
[mrs. brice, spoken]
so go!
toi toi toi
and break a leg!

[eddie, spoken]
from the top!
5, 6, 7, 8
come on, girls
arms!
good job, girls
come on, f*nny
get in there just like we practiced!
there you go, f*nny
go to it, f*nny
come on and bring it over here!

[mr. keeney, spoken]
hey, you in the bloomers

[f*nny, spoken]
yes, mr. keeney?

[mr. keeney, spoken]
what are you doing there?
[f*nny, spoken]
dancing!

[mr. keeney, spoken]
well go and do it somewheres else
you’re fired

[eddie, spoken]
come on, boss!

[mr. keeney, spoken]
what’s with the ringer?
you owe somebody a favor?

[eddie, spoken]
it seemed like a funny idea!

[mr. keeney, spoken]
i pay comics for laughs
i pay chorus girls for… something else

[sung]
if a girl isn’t pretty
like a miss atlantic city
she should dump the stage
and try another route

[f*nny, spoken]
listen, i know i’m no dancer but*

[mr. keeney]
any guy who pays a quarter
for a seat just feels he oughta
see a figure that his wife can’t substitute

[f*nny, spoken]
oh, come on!

[mr. keeney]
if a girl ain’t perfection
you better take up a collection
every girl must be a dazzler and a beaut

[eddie]
she’s got very nice deportment

[f*nny, spoken]
thank you, eddie

[mr. keeney]
but when they see that assortment

[?]
from the gallery they’ll be throwing fruit!

[f*nny, spoken]
who asked you?!

[all]
if a girl isn’t pretty
if a girl isn’t pretty
if a girl isn’t pretty
if a girl isn’t pretty
if a girl isn’t pretty
she should get a job
go get a job
get any job
get a weekly pay!

[girls]
’cause if a girl isn’t pretty
like a miss atlantic city

[all]
she’s a real miss n0body, u.s.a

- new broadway cast of funny girl lyrics

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