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restart (happy birthday) - neutraloneder lyrics

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inspect an insect family under upturned stone
undoing their body’s knots
i’m resurrected as rot

a broken promise to be productive on my day off
decay is he feast for these beasts and cretins
its a relief that its not me…
but wait

i’m often seeing these scenes in my dream state
it was the only place i felt safe
i existed unwell when i was awake

the truth about things seems to be
consistent with heart suffering
against the least of these
to most of them
i’m a feast for free
but, at least i’m me

for today
to myself
i will prey
i pray to be missed
incorporeal form
it might feel better than this
self care becomes self inflict*ed
depression hits
hate to admit it
i’m not myself unless i’m lifted
i’m aware of my body
i’m aware that its rotting
i feel it always present
apathy is better than resentment
atrophy always insistent

“well, what’s your wish you sl!ck witch?”
to be alone with my thoughts conflicted
there is time for feeling like this
so i moan and b*tch about things inconsistent

i’m nauseous with self help today
out of the way
another year older
life is a mossy boulder
it sings
songs of healing light
entering into my life
i feel better for a moment then it passes into the night

i stray
deep breaths then i’m on my way
goodbye to the worms
goodbye to the hate
refresh, renew myself then i inhale my greatness and suddenly
i feel okay
suddenly
i feel okay

- neutraloneder lyrics

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