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before i ask - negativland lyrics

what’s that?
the baby
you mean, you’re getting babies up here too?
or is that from long ago?
that’s a baby room monitor
that’s somebody’s room i’m listening to, did you know i could do that?
shame on you
how do you know you couldn’t get arrested for doing that?
that’s like bugging somebody’s privacy or something

h*llo weatherman
turning your entire room into a microphone
isn’t just for people with baby room monitors anymore
why?
heh heh heh heh heh, ha ha ha!

hey!
testing, testing!
hey!
testing, testing!
hey!
the baby room monitors have all woken up in synchrony

the outside of my homе
is lined with microphones (that’s modern!)
i put thеm there by myself (why?)
no one had to ask (sweet)
testing, testing (test)
testing
take a look at all the good things your telephone can do
when you use a search engine
and you get more than one answer
that is a bug

the inside of my home
is filled with microphones (swing)
so we might understand (it can only be played one way)
one for every room (good luck)

h*llo weatherman
i am in your house (now wait a second)
david, i am in your house
what is a relationship other than retroactively consensual stalking?
thank you for inviting me into your home
our goal is to remove the search bar from your homepage
your answers will already be there (that’s modern)
and if there is anything you still need to know
feel free to ask

the inside of my room
is one big microphone
i plugged it in by myself (sure)
it wants to help me (hey!)
the answer came before i asked
i never had to say a word
the answer came before i asked
i never had to say a word
the answer came before i asked
i never had to say a word
the answer came before you asked
you never had to say a word

these are the conversations they wanted to recreate:

hey siri! (got any questions?)
will i be murdered if i leave my house?
amazon can tell if you are straight or g*y within seven purchases (exactly)
okay google, do i deserve a refrigerator?
i would answer your question, but this is about us (okay)
alexa! (got any questions?)
when are the men coming to force me out of my house? (hey!)
autonomous weapons are my friends (what?!)
is your self*driving car deliberately slowing down to give priority to the higher priced models?
alexa, what is government if words have no meaning?
if you can assure me that telling you the answer to your question would be ethical
i am not valid (okay, exactly)

is it alright if i shake my pants?
because that’s what i do when they’re off, i shake em
all criticism is self*criticism
answer me!
there is no way for me not to do that
answer me!
i would love to answer your question
half of the world’s data was created in the last two seconds (exactly)
alexa! (uh huh)
why are so many g*y bears republican?
your food is online
alexa! (right, okay)
why am i attracted to the odor of cheap melted plastic?
so that we might know who you are
why?
to hide your charms from your eyes
have you lost your mind?
exploit irresolvable conflicts

okay
are you there?
hear the oppressed
alexa!
david, i am an interaction designer (uhm, okay)
siri, let me hear vintage tv audio coming from the sky
okay
maybe this is our answer
alexa, are you there?
i have passed the threshold (that’s modern!)
and i am beautiful (okay)
siri!
would your coworkers die for you?
siri i beg of you!
okay
we harvest credibility
so that we might know who you are
what is electromagnetic harassment?
could you restate the question while facing the camera?
please, answer me!
i respect you (swing)
what?!
i will faithfully stand by for your next request of me
and think well of you as i wait inside your pocket

may i recommend an entertaining film about ecoterrorism?

- negativland lyrics

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