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fear of death - ned rorem lyrics

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what is it now with me
and is it as i have become?
is there no state free from the boundry lines
of before and after? the window is open today

and the air pours in with piano notes
in its skirts, as though to say, “look, john
i’ve brought these and these”—that is
a few beethovens, some, brahmses

a few choice poulenc notes. . . . yes
it is being free again, the air, it has to keep coming back
because that’s all it’s good for
i want to stay with it out of fear

that keeps me from walking up certain steps
knocking at certain doors, fear of growing old
alone, and of finding no one at the evening end
of the path except another myself

nodding a curt greeting: “well, you’ve been awhile
but now we’re back together, which is what counts.”
air in my path, you could shorten this
but the breeze has dropped, and silence is the last word

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