painless pain - navid jamshidi lyrics
i’m receiving a gift from a friend
any moment now, it’ll descend
oh, the bell rings; i must not delay
but the trip downstairs takes some sway
“h*llo ma’am, here’s your box today
your new wheelchair has come to stay
i hope you heal and rise above
you are the best, we know it all
i thanked the man, found my way in
to where my home is warm within
my mom sees the chair, turns aside
hiding tears she cannot confide
i head to fetch some snacks to share
and other things to prepare with carе
“you stay at home; leave this to mе
i’ll make it special—just wait and see.”
at last, the moment’s drawing near
the end of all this pain and fear
my friend knew well what i would need—
a helium tank to match my deed
i grab a bag and make my way
connecting tubes without delay
the setup’s done; it’s time to go
this world feels bitter, harsh, and slow
as plastic slides across my face
i recall a time, a happier place—
the days when sam and i were one
before the clouds replaced the sun
oh, how i loved you, my sweet dear
but look at the wreck i’ve become here
i can’t fault you for walking away
who’d love a crippled girl anyway?
you found someone to take my place;
it broke my heart, but that’s the case
you love her still, you’re happy too
and i know she’s better for you
the memories sting of that cursed night
i called, but you dodged me out of sight
yet your helmet’s headset picked the line
revealing the acts you tried to confine
the moans, the sounds—i heard it all
the truth unveiled, my heart would fall
i rushed outside, my anger ablaze
driving wild, lost in a haze
the road ahead, a blur, unclear
a truck draws close, its h*rn i hear
a crash too sudden, a violent cry—
the world turns dark as i say goodbye
now i see my mother’s despair
her wails resounding, choking the air
the tank, the bag—my cruel escape
left her broken, unable to reshape
though life is gone, i hear her plea
her shattered heart still speaks to me
i never meant to hurt her so
but now she bears my endless woe
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