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saudade - naturalist lyrics

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on my birthday i lost my world, staring at a shower door
the places my mind explores left me blocking off my bedroom door
the ones i love i push away. i see them die most every day
and it’s more than avoidance can save. i pray the lord my soul to take
i want to know what it’s like to live a life other than mine
i’m tired of being inside my head but it gets the best of me sometimes
it’s what i deserve, i’m dying slowly to show my worth
it’s what i deserve, i’m dying slowly to show my worth
i think of everything. i am the sum of two people who never fell in love
i have become everything i’ve hated all at once
i think of all the things that keep me awake
i think of all the times i’ve pushed you away
i’m buried in my thoughts again, nothing makes sense

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