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falling star - nak lyrics

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i don’t blame god for the mess that i made
he don’t break hearts or reflect on my shame
i became gray: there’s no rest in my brain
lay me down to rest with the rest of my faith

i did it to myself
i did it to myself
i did it to myself
i did it to myself
help, help

i’m wide awake because “i always stay up”
i lift my face into the sky. straight up
and though the stars above at times will stray*a*ah
when they fall they turn into estrella
(yeah* yeah* mic check* 30)

all i need is a moment for my heart to listen closer
the things we gotta hear are more than often never spoken*
so we speak in sign language* you know “i never listen”
we hardly in the present. too focused on the closure

holding my composure; master the fermata
but couldn’t get the peace to come together like we wanted
writing rhymes “right and left;” bass an’ treble clef
but if you never “raise your hands” you could never learn to “rest”
there’s still habits that i gratify
lovers turn to alibis
habits turn to churches
and conviction turns to pantomime

it seems the older that i get the lonelier i feel
it seems i’m shouldering regrets from things that never healed

i’m pondering so often now that i was never saved
i’m pontius: how i’m haunted by the faces i’ve betrayed
i made 23 prayers, i’d take 30 if i could
but even judas took 30, nailed the savior to the wood

i don’t blame god for the mess that i made
he don’t break hearts or reflect on my shame
i became gray: there’s no rest in my brain
lay me down to rest with the rest of my faith

i did it to myself
i did it to myself
i did it to myself

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