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drowning in silence - n1ghtm4re lyrics

[verse 1]
i got this heavy weight on my shoulders
it feels like i’m carrying a boulder
and everyday that i get older
i regret the times i never told her
conflictin’ thoughts in my brain
question if i’m bipolar
‘cuz sometimes i feel all the pain
and other nights i just roll over
silence is all that i hear, case and point
until someone screams in my ear
death is all that i fear, our life is short
gotta’ make the best while we’re here
lost a loved one, can’t even shed a tear
been a long time since i’ve been sincere
lost that connection, i know it’s what i feared
burned that bridge, but then i reappeared
emotionally available, that’s the promise i made
i know that’s not the same as the games that we play
and after all this time i still wish that you stayed
need a broom to get all the dirt off my name
supposed to be your groom, now i”m just a forgotten face
walked out of your life without leavin’ a trace
walked outta’ mine i’m still stuck in this place
rottin’ with my demons, the past i can’t erase
would be lyin’ if i said i made no mistakes
at least i’m aware and at least i’m awake
and at the least i could still help plot my escape
to get out of my mind and what i’ve became
i can see the past, it’s really taking shape
and to all the people close i’m a real disgrace
eating away at me and i’m so afraid
am i gonna hurt her, like i hurt you then?
[verse 2]
we only exist in my dreams
but this feel so real, can you hear my screams?
locked in this box but i swallowed the key
and i gotta’ get out, yeah, by any means
i struggle to relate when it isn’t me
i can’t explain it, i guess it’s in my genes
like the way you used to when we were a thing
now i just get by going fling to fling
with a lil’ bit of hope and the joy you bring
why get out of bed when you live in my dreams
drowning in silence, we were just some teens
learning how to love in a modern scene
poisoned by lies told from the machines
turned two lovers into a broken screen
stuck in a cycle it became a routine
arguments, fights, everything in between
silence fills the room as i take my dying breath
suffer in the dark, conflictin’ thoughts of death
it’s not rock bottom i’ve hit a lower depth
accept my mistakes * i’d rather be dead
the word inside these walls guide me in my plans
hope they can repair the loose screw in my head
i know the solution, but she’s got a man
searchin’ for closure there’s still left to be said
try to patch the hole with a girl who wasn’t right
forced feelings only work in the middle of the night
only way to escape is through my pen when i write
someday i gotta’ face it and tell her who’s right
pains me to keep quiet, i’ve always suffered in silence
still deep in our love, it isn’t rocket science
been strugglin’ on my own without all of your guidance
i just hit my lowest, now it’s time for my highest

- n1ghtm4re lyrics

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