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poopquake - my toilet is clogged lyrics

i took a gigantic huge really big sh*t
a sh*t so big that it’s impossible to lift
a sh*t so big that it made the earth’s plates shift
the impact so hard that it made a big rift
it was like a huge asteroid coming from sp*ce
it fell to the earth and made the ground shake
i jolted awake and saw the toilet break
i felt the tremble and knew it was an earthquake
the ground started shaking very fiercely
the bathroom floor was being damaged severely
i heard people panicking outside near me
i needed to get out of the bathroom clearly
i tried to get up but i was paralyzed
i had so many cramps in my arms and thighs
and my ass was bleeding from the sh*t’s size
there was no way i would escape i realized
that was when i knew i was in real trouble
the floor started to strongly crack and rumble
i could hear the building starting to crumble
before i knew it i was buried in rubble
i was on the ground after the building collapsed
i was buried under all these metal scr*ps
and i could feel the earth starting to crack
but i wasn’t able to get out ’cause i was trapped
i could hear screaming coming from the town
i could hear all of the buildings falling down
i was almost going deaf from all the loud sounds
all while i was buried under the metal mound
later that day i was eventually saved
the firemen rescued me from the metal grave
i was able to make it out of there unscathed
but i still feel like i did something depraved
’cause i can’t help but feel really guilty
everything in town was destroyed because of me
everyone else got trapped under the debris
and there were so many deaths and injuries
i ruined so many people’s lives today
tomorrow i need to talk to dr. g*y
having constipation is no longer okay
i need to get something to make it go away

- my toilet is clogged lyrics

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