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contrition - my fictions lyrics

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who’s to say i can escape feeling this low? i don’t know. and i’ve tried to remind myself that nothing matters, but i can’t. it just felt good to hurt again, if just for a second. i’ve been so let down and distracted for months now, and each time i write, i ask myself to change. but i sit down and my problems are the same. but who’s to blame if i’m alone all the time? the burden must be mine. i know i can’t change. i’m weighed down by selfishness. but this doesn’t sound like guilt. this is false contrition. it doesn’t hurt anymore to know i won’t change. i find comfort knowing no one’s listening. no use in hurting or trying to be perfect. i know i’m facing the worst, and i deserve it

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