annihilates sjws with facts and logic compilation - mr. master lyrics
[prod. by mr. master]
[intro: laurence rees]
goebbels’s favorite hollywood films were
gone with the wind and
snow white and the seven dwarves
[verse 1: mr. master]
i made up a fun new game to play. it’s called
“find the most unconventional rapper there’s ever been.”
you win
is that a wocket in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?
is that a skeleton in your closet or are you just fashionably creepy?
librarian said i looked handsome. i thanked her
then i took her to the kids section and spanked her
on some d-mn it feels good to be a bankster
three cigarettes closer to cancer
the committee votes in favor of die antwoord
hail satan backwards
i turn a tania out a patty hearst
lacma heard the demo and thought it was max ernst
bang bang. pot and panzers
spar strangled blammer
i can’t believe i went this long without saying master
tell me again about those rules you want me to follow so badly
i reb-ttal with a b-tthole and two -sscheeks, happy?
what happened to weird?
i just see one wack rapper in a hall of mirrors
one paid job with a bunch of volunteers
wait‚ statistically speaking
doesn’t it make sense that the best rapper alive
would be some guy n-body’s ever heard of?
if you were to take how many billion rappers‚ plot ’em on a graph
wouldn’t you get a bell curve with the kurtosis turned up?
i guess math isn’t worth much
when it’s first past the post b-tton
lurkers ain’t gotta post nothin’
been too busy stuffin’ these joke t-rduckens
also stuffin’ as in vote corruption
and also stuffin’ as in molds and cut skin
the homies back north said they wanted bars‚ i expedite ‘em
i’m hung like hugh hefner’s corpse and i smell just like ‘im
live from yelp’s best asylum
if i had a bullet for every typo i’ve edited
my head writers would have no head to write with
it’s not supposed to make sense
it’s just proof that rap breaks when it’s bent
y’all playin’ limbo with the age of consent
y’all went to college and graduated with a major in debt
a shocking scene tonight as local rapper mr. master
drenched himself in gasoline and lit himself on fire
police report finding a thousand-page manifesto
in the victim’s car which seems to detail his motives
investigators say they plan to put it on a list of doc-ments
that they really want to read when they find the time
the ashes of the rapper were scattered over balboa park
leaving many children stricken blind
back to you in the studio
how dare you let yourself go to sleep
more dumb than when you woke up?
that’s like leaving a buffet less fat than when you showed up
that’s like casually browsing p-rnhub
that’s a waste of your blood
man, this lithium-lamictal combo’s really got me jellin’
this intermittent fastin’’s really graftin’ on my ghrelin
i am a o kelvin. i am straight-four engine
i am dave koresh out in waco, texas
char-grilled to perfection
brain like daniel dennett. play like samuel beckett
face like nathaniel ess-x
fl studio mobile 2 on a huawei nexus
if it ain’t broke‚ don’t brexit
what has two thumbs and was just crowned
rapper laureate of the intellectual dark web?
shame on the microaggressional intersectional hardheads
keynes told me in the long run, we’re all dead;
so i’ma keep crackin’ wise ‘til gloria’s face is all red
hi, my name is tony and this is every frame a painting
fade in to stay at home mom
cut to: angie j in changeling
and with the help of some extras hired at union wage
ultra studios can get your school shooting staged
praise be to short skirts and long legs
lift b-tts and lift br–sts‚ blonde hair and blue checks
i watch p-rn for the articles
boils and carbuncles
still got my arms around oates and garfunkel
i got a call from pfizer askin’ if i could be
the spokesman for their new medicine. i asked why
they said, “’cause you make people sick.”
wow. i finally make nerdcore that isn’t cringe
and this is the thanks i get?
how’d the nerd start gettin’ texts from your girlfriend like
“i should’ve been patient, or we would’ve been datin’
wanna come over? no one’s home, not even him.”
b-tch, i don’t cheat unless it’s motherlode on the sims
not even on some nerd sh-t
i will full blown aids your favorite rapper in his veins
plaster his face on a billboard for needle exchange
it’d be a shame if somethin’ happened to that pomeranian
let’s see how loud he’ll be yappin’
when that collar’s stranglin’ him
and i was b-mpin’ wopo the day x died, y’all buggin’
need to switch you to an eld cl-ss, y’all strugglin’
she was cryin’ when our kid was napped. i wasn’t
i was erasing diapers and formula off of my budget
‘sgustin’. y’all treatin’ nuclear launch codes
like souvenir shop clothes
this is the fate of civilization i’m joking about
isn’t california still goin’ through that drought
or was that just somethin’ the news cycle rolled in and out?
oh, it’s actually over? for now!
it’s not like we get a little bit of rain and we all can just drown
bring a snowball to the senate floor and toss it around
like, “look, it’s cold outside! all our problems are solved!”
but like how?
my name is gabriel jacob luansing
they call me mr. master because i told them to
and if you’re hearing this song
it means that i’ve been -ss-ssinated
by the united states government
they’re going to make it look like i self-immolated
but as someone who spits hot fire
i would never choose to go out in such ironic a fashion
they’re doing this because i know too much
but i say they don’t know enough
so with my dying breath, i implore you
to support your local bookstore
[outro: mr. master]
and scene
sqrd!
qbd
ultra front back and sides, you know how it gets
and i’m serious about that whole
go to sleep smarter than when you woke up thing, y’know
i will not be taking questions
matamoney. funkhouser. bang
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