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the ultimate video game rap battle - mr. jay (rb) lyrics

pong paddle (pong):
it is me pong, i will have the starting verse
because i am the original, so i am going first
i’m have the most innovative, integrated tech, it’s true
because everything you say will bounce off me and break onto you
i got formal atari, you think you’re pretty? hardly
when i got the better bars see, 2 of them, left and right of me
you got easter eggs, i got beeps and boops
these noises play, and you’ll see the troops
this is game*over for you, you’ve nеver wippity won
this brickity block, just got beat by pong

breakout paddlе (breakout):
nice try ding dong, but you’re spitting at whack angles
unlike you, i can keep b*lls out, honestly, you’re such a shamble!
your flow is even worse than your consoles, i’ll stick with the odyssey
i present a single player challenge! you’re a two player party novelty!
look at my color screen. stop seeing everything so black and white
i’m smashing gaming charts like bricks, and bringing arcaders delight!
your games are so blandly simple that it’s hard to write a diss to
so go back to your court and play with your variable resistor!

invader (sp*ce invaders):
it’s time i blast your bunkers and send you all to h*ll!
unlike me your game won’t help people breakout of their sh*ll
invading your wastes of personal sp*ce
just look at the facts that you can’t really face
we’ll war through the worlds when i break my inspiration
spla*boom boom pow from the alien crustaceans
see, you’ve got zero intel to process this diss, pr*cks
beep beep, b*tch, burst your bricks into eight*bits
asteroid ship (asteroids):
and to think that this battle had almost gotten worser
well i bring more fear than a 2d cursor
with a press of the b*tton, sounds like victory to me
multiply by three, oh wait it’s just these wannabees
flow more smooth than my game, you’ll be in total panic
when i…right into this invader’s flawed mechanics
i can’t stand it, i’ll handle it, i’m illest at beating planets
i just gave these losers game overs, so you might as well can it

pac*man (pac*man):
i’m wakka walking in, put namco on the map
with my jaw wide open; bout to spit some ghostly raps
the original gaming pimp displayed in the ‘sonian
escape from this bit of gaming rapping symposium
you only exist to make fat nerds rage
i am the pinnacle of gaming, the og of the golden age
these inanimate pr*cks will feel blue once i’m finished
y’all be like… *pac*man death sound* once you’re diminished

donkey kong (donkey kong):
how whackawhacka, run back to your light buds
‘cause i’ll take puck*man’s kind to the fridge once i’m done!
i’m the king of the man made hill, with the first cutscenes as i reckon
expanding the king kong’s lore gives birth to the legends!
got more charisma than most of you, even when i’m cranky
paved a way for my son to swing back punches in his country
try and stop me, universal doesn’t have what it takes
my rhymes explode, just like a barrel to an oil tank
pitfall harry (pitfall):
the classic side*scrolling treasure, and i’ll be the one to slam ya
i’m swinging through these vines like an 8*bit indiana
spitting limitless gold bars, exactly like my legacy
with just one *jumping noise* i stacked the money for atari
prepare disses, traps and tricks, i’m ready to fall
playing with you so called pioneers is like facing a brick wall
jumping on crocodiles heads for a living, i’m not caring
i’m active*ision in the jungle, that’s why my rhymes are best*selling

bomberman (bomberman):
the white bomberman’s here, beating these balloms with aplomb
erupting this battle by generating bombs from my palms
with a bomb trap in his back, pit’s end up all the same
like when your sequel went super and delved into the pit of shame
not even an artificial comet could expunge me and my planet
humiliating these fails, less careful than a bunch of bandits
right now, i’m not so cheerful, this maze won’t be so sp*cious
when i detect you flops coming and emit this blast radius!

tetris blocks (tetris):
there’s no way you’ll be stopping this russian puzzle machine
the classic graphic building blocks who shaped the entire gaming 80s!
when our tetrimino rhymes drop out your lines, it won’t be no level cheater
run back to where you came from cause here comes the rap fever!
we’re stacking up our bars whilst geometricians adore
we’ll build our way up to the top; practically made the commodore!
a demoman’s fame couldn’t blast away any of our colored walls
because we laid the foundation and changed gaming once and for all
mario and luigi (super mario bros.):
let’s start a new legacy of gaming, with the best bros
don’t wage a war on the gods of nintendo!
there’s not a single soul that doesn’t know our name, it’s impossible
we’re spitting fire flowers and now we’re practically unstoppable!
yo, bro, what should we do about these worthless sticks?
i say we snap them in half, they think they’re tough like bricks
you and winning doesn’t fit just like a wrongly placed piece! (woo*hoo!)
since after all, we’re the saviors of the gaming industry!

link (the legend of zelda):
the hero of time is here. hacking slashing through this massive horde
hear these ocarina chords as i’m dashing with the master sword
lash a gash in your back so fast like a mat you’re attached to the floor
while i unmask and extract the act of impassible gore
just relax relapse into that nap that you’ve been asking me for
i could subtract my passionate actions along with this adamant core
and you still couldn’t match my caption with your inadequate lore
you see, i separate good from evil you and i are far from equal
just one arrow shot into the dome make your game not have a sequel

mega man (mega man):
out of all the people here, you’re by far the weakest, link
i’m a mega man, growing in fame, as i watch you shrink
cap*coming for the win, i rockman this mic all night
you’re mega busted, you’re fighting the creation of dr. light!
even twilight has a better love story than your princess!
tremble to your knees like wily as you’re begging for forgiveness
blasting this elf back to his forest when i put you in your place
spit iller than a roboenza virus as i drop the bass

samus aran (metroid):
all these protagonists are zeros, more plain than the base suit
ridley’s ripley, prime*d with a screw attack just for you!
this mega*boy’s the nerf of games, facing the blood of the chozo
the reigning bounty huntress, you’re all playthings, amiibos!
blew*mother brains with my gender, a planet bustings what i send
yet not as massive as the shadow stood in by this other m!
even with a dark suit, i could see your loyalty’s misguided
i made nintendo what it is today, boys, don’t you get too excited!

ryu (street fighter):
i thought i found worthy opponents, but i guess i was wrong
you won’t be able to beat me when you’re five times less strong
my fists are ready to punch! the true dragon has arisen!
and i’ll send you all flying with a shin shoryuken!!!
leave your heads spinning like a tatsumaki sen puk yaku!
you’ll all be screaming, when this raging demon has struck you!
i was trained by master gouken, so my defenses can’t be broken!
and i’ll blast you all away when i unleash my hadouken!!!

scrooge mcduck (duck tales):
your raps are all flat just like you all are visually
diss me? i’m rich, see? the epitome of games from disney
got the golden lines like midas, leave y’all in peril!
it’s scrooge but this ain’t no christmas carol!
heart blacker than the beagle boys, i’m winning, man!
step to me and i’ll buy your entire ninja clan!
they’ll be screaming euroh!! when mc duck spits ill
leave you marked and cent dented, hollin’ for a dollar bill!

captain falcon (f*zero):
come on! i’m about to show these losers that their rhymes are weak!
you wanna step up to this? i’ll falcon punch you in the beak!
i’m the blue falcon with rhymes so valiant
and kentucky fried chicken proves to be f*zero challenge!
i rock this track! sweep you aside like it was your movie
flattening a shameless tie*in that’s only famous for the moon theme!
improve or remove yourself, scrooge, or you’re sure to lose
next rappers have nothing on me, but show me your moves!

sonic the hedgehog (sonic the hedgehog):
snazzy performances, the blue blur’s coming in
you’re all too slow, i’m faster than the falcon!
try to catch up with this flow, spit hot like chili dogs
the beast is unleashed, not talkin’ ‘bout werehogs
mr duck ‘n karate kid with more tricks than robotnik
drinking up every falcon punch; my spindashes’ll feel like roadblocks, it’s
causin’ chaos on cheap arcade games
ain’t echkiddin’ ‘round takin’ my knuckles to your face
keep up the act! pop more caps popping capsules
so stop your prattle, orbinaut at all careful
raps? i’m overlappin’! wish to battle? you’ll be flattened
this sonic team? i’m the captain! rascals askin’ to be damaged

kirby (kirby):
quit it! let me spit this! winning this is in your dreams, man
the hip*hop*pop star is droppin’ you straight from dreamland!
take a step into my universe, i’ll squash blue rejected furbies
when you dropped the sonic boom, you sucked way more than kirby!
yeah, i’m kirby, you know me, all the ladies wanna blow me
i’m gonna outflow these boastin’ geeks since you’re all too slow for me
i’ll swallow, eat and munch yo’ rhymes like it’s lunchtime!
you’re only known to use your legs since you can’t make a punchline!

sub zero (mortal kombat):
enough of these kiddie games, people want some blood and gore
i’ll deflate this pink puffball and stomp his ass right to the floor
stepping to the gore king, now this fight shall be your last
the grandmaster of the lin kuei, who will kick some gaming ass
lame excuses for heroes, shatter them when they meet my fist
there ain’t no accident, it’s miraculousif you survive my blood apprentice
you babies messing with me, i got a psychopathic personality
no chiropractor alive will fix you when i perform my fatality

fox mccloud (star fox):
general pepper assigned to me to diss these punks without a blaster
elsa better flee when i drop down with my landmaster
barrell rolling through your disses, i’ve seen more gore from andross!
i’ll rap like foxfire to cement this star warrior’s loss
my verse is like a deflector, shield from your 2*bit disses
i’m too slippy to get caught by you flopping fishes
i’ll ar*wing it and dump on this m*s*ch*stic frost junky
i super smash simians! i face no threat from a pack of monkeys!

ness (earthbound):
okay! looks like a wild badass just appeared!
gee, sure is getting awfully furry up in here!
you may be a fox, but you’re certainly no star, man
only thing that makes you look decent is your failure of a star clan!
slippy can’t shake guys off; peppy’s stuck in a barrel roll
and you fly past many enemies, cause you’re using cruise control
if your team of four face giygas it would be a total brainshock
now go make out with falco and buzz buzz off

crono (chrono trigger):
trigger’s pulled when you chrono cross timeless samurais
no truce between us as this titan of time is too fly
blessed by gaspar to save the present and the solar system
i gave life to rpg’s, you’re giving a fetus no competition
earthbound to cry for mother when you fail like the chancellor
you striked, but had no b*lls to face akira’s commander
master of square enix, you’re the masters of the kitchen
in the end of time, your relevance has yet to be written

crash bandicoot (crash bandicoot):
whoa! i’m crashing in, bootin’ everyone i’m facin’
smash you harder than a crate, master of the playstation
spin in like taz, no creature could be beating me!
i’m hopping islands, stoppin’ cortex and blowing up tnt!
i’ll run fast, blast your ass with the help of my mask, “ooga booga”!
and we’ll stomp on this saiyan who sure is far from super!
my minion nemesis put up more of a fight than these knuckleheads!
at least when i save my girl, there’s not a mushroom waiting instead

lara croft (tomb raider):
this animal i’m playing would think a girl needs saving
but bandicoot, dinosaurs i’m braving and tombs i’m raiding
that’s a pitfall into uncharted waters only i could conquer
like ruins, and caves, and temples filled with monsters!
you’re against a legend! this will be your last revelation!
an angel of darkness, crystal core on saturn and playstation!
go underworld, snuff the cradle of life of these haters
with flows like atlantis, call this rise of the tomb raider!

cloud strife (final fantasy vii):
interrupting your sunny day when the cloud drops thunder
against two rpg kids who’d lose to me in a game of numbers
and this failed excuse for a heroine that i outsold five*fold!
you three mean nothing to me except more xp and gold
flowing like the lifestream, diss harder than my ultima weapon clashes
no punch or kick can compare to my limitless omni slashes
i’ll bury all y’all like an avalanche; no strife for this bounty
join the one winged angel as this is your final fantasy

banjo and kazooie (banjo & kazooie):
time for some adventuring, we’re the kings of rareware (guh hu!)
you don’t wanna mess with the bird and bear pair
we complete the gaming genre, you’re bout to get a l!ckin’
it’s written in the clouds! you belong in the land of chickens!
we got so many worlds and lands you can explore
unbeatable golden*eyed gems, who rocked the 64!
we’re spitting mumbo jumbo rhymes like gruntilda the witch
you can’t get better gameplay than our cartridge can give

spyro the dragon (spyro the dragon):
enter the dragon so fly, hi! i’m spyro!
with wickedest of cowl!cks and boiling fire flow
i could melt that banjo with a hiccup!
yo, this is the year of the dragon! so all you lil’ rats better put your fists up
i fly faster than gaming’s casual bystanders
i’ll scan your kazooie and prove i’m a true skylander
you can’t douse my power with no kind of device
you just got screwed with my kind of fire and ice!

solid snake (metal gear solid):
otacon, touchdown. messing with a snake’s bad for your health
because my poison leaves ground zeroes when i dispense with my stealth
you ought to reboot your verse, because you’d be a waste of a fulton
a c4*wielding hayter’s in your midst, so now’s time to start boltin’
see through activision with a solid eye, can’t mask phantom pain
crawled through woods like a snake eater, you against me is just insane
you should swap forces with a metal gear so that you stand a chance
with a lyrical nikita blast, you’ll look like liquid at first glance

pyramid head (silent hill):
on your mind, now off it, made k!lling an art form
the sound of music then i brought hills silent once more
bust a buster with a great knife harder than all of fox’s
i waste more people than you waste cardboard boxes
you’ll be shaken to your hearts, your flesh paper, bones brittle
make you seek a brookhaven, definitely need a hospital
this is the bogeyman’s homecoming, rapping at my core
leaving you like otacon, soon this’ll be a slippery floor

trainer gold (pokemon gold and silver):
arriving from johto, a wild trainer appears
the golden mastermind of what’s inside this red and white sphere
your franchise is forgotten, something you should reminisce
i’m golden like my lines, you’re less selected than kris
blazing like a cyndaquil, with totodile like flow
chikorita putting out the grass, running at what it throws
my journey and victory’s what i’ll always evoke
you’re like an empty pokedex given by professor oak

the sims (the sims):
this is the era of the sims, the real life simulation
with the best selling games, inspiring a generation
i’m spewing the simlish disses to knock rejected red!
if you’re gonna poke*buse, go host a c*ck fight instead
give up, you guys will never receive aspiration points
we spit it virtually indelible, we never disappoint
step into our territory, you’ll learn that it’s quite serious
once you’re vanished right after the 25 day period

master chief (halo: combat evolved):
cortana said to ride out these sucker phantoms
these sims are more convoluted than their expansions
combat has evolved, you’ll all fade to black
you’ll be b*tch slapped even worse than the didact
i’m a spartan super soldier kicking ass since childhood
and i’ll cut you down more than an energy sword could
so let us reach a covenant, for all of us to agree
that it’s best to stand down against the master chief

the lich king (world of warcraft):
this means warcraft! my icecrown will leave you with a halo!
as frostmourne devastates sims worse than a tornado!
as ner’zhul guides me i’ll bring a scourge upon these strangers
spitting a blizzard that is colder than chief’s sleep chamber
with a flow ancient as azjol*nerub i’ll burn you by the legions
put an end to these furries, call it an open season
it’s the wrath of the lich king, you have awoken arthas
all life must end, though i seem to be heartless

sora (kingdom hearts):
dream droppin’ in to spit some bars from the darkness
it won’t take many incarnates to know that you are all heartless
you’re only known for your notorious fan bases, like sonic’s
be in the limelight then become n0bodies in the process
all of you will remain locked up in a chain of memories
i roxas the mic with the keyblade to unlock true victory
you all don’t have the heart to accept your kingdom come
my abilities were birthed by sleep, so you’d better just succumb

viewtiful joe (viewtiful joe):
there’s no originality for this boring cloud clone
got my v*watch applied, i’m taking the gaming throne
i’m a superhero! don’t need time reversing to save me
get ready to lose your life marks, henshin*a*go*go, baby!
try and escape from this viewtiful whipping in mach speed
film this beating on vfx, going slow*mo in 2d
no need for burgers when i make you all feel captain blue
unleashing the six machine! like the jadow, you’re screwed

gordon freeman (half*life):
i’ll break down your engines, and fix this at the source
revolutionizing things is the par for my course
so, with a shotgun to the verse and a crowbar to the face
i’ll destroy those who oppose the pc master race
speaking my mind is usually against my policy
but i bet you’ve never seen a g modernize flawlessly
30 frames strong, you’re all slow as molasses
so, it’s time to for you to wake up and smell the ashes

kratos (god of war):
you dare step to a god? you’ll just create a game war!
step to the ghost of sparta and taste hordes of minotaurs!
i ended freeman’s spree, start spamming your controller b*ttons
my moves are iconic, your defenses are all for nothing!
clean the sewer pipes with a sp*ce*hog, i don’t need pieces of croft, i’m k!lling you off like ares
i’m a demigod, you don’t scare me!
sweet fluid movements, you could compare me to jaffe cake
thought that you could defeat me? ha! that’ll be your last mistake!

wander (shadows of the colossus):
after the battles i’ve fought in and the wars that i’ve seen
i stepped up so that i could reshape the game industry
i’ll remain dormant while dormin guides my flow
while i demean any one track franchise in mono
you’re all failures, poor ungodly souls
after colossus? i’ll easily cut down these trolls
i evolved gaming, you’re all pre*rendered cr*p
i didn’t wander into battle, i rode in on horseback

amaterasu (okami):
okami on, the shinto’s the only one who tries?
i’m heaven’s illumination, beware this deity’s fiery cries *giggles*
with my celestial brush i’ll draw this battle out
paint a picture of wander, this david’s bladeship’s in doubt *howls*
embody the sunrise, this wolf’s hounding in the yen!
i’ll keep flowing, like i’ve an inkfinity stone with no end
tower over colossi as i take kratos’ like nagi’s duty
seize victory and bring more terror than i did as shiranui

robloxian (roblox):
if you duel with this robloxian, you better start to speed run
i’ll slash you in a sword fight for stepping to the builder’s club
like many of my obbys, i’m difficult to beat
i don’t give 2 robux! i’ll leave you noobs in defeat
try to survive my natural disasters, it’s impossible!
with my speed and gravity coils, i’m unstoppable!
i’m getting badges and tickets, you’re getting banned in the end
ha! even builderman wouldn’t want to be your friend!

desmond miles (assassin’s creed):
i’m known for putting men to silence; you should do so with your verse
you can look to me for guidance, like an eagle on its perch
eavesdropping rhymes, and i’ll loot you with precision
there’s no time for remission; you couldn’t see me with eagle vision
i’ll take a leap of faith, sneak attack and give you scars
then rap miles around you! i’ll end you like a templar
it’s the end of your world! your ass*assin’s creed is history!
altair’s descendant has left you nothing but a memory

niko bellic (grand theft auto iv):
i’m stealing the spotlight, you’re one to pity!
because i’ll mug you punks like liberty city!
and this won’t be pretty, always brave enough for gritty
while desmond here couldn’t simulate titties!
something my cousin likes to blabber about
but i don’t need to mention peers just to make these b*tches shout
from this grand theft lyrical crisis that i’m commitin’
with this shotgun, i’ll spread you f*ckers out like the pigeons!

cole macgrath (infamous):
woke up from the explosion, looked around to see
these retro pr*cks trying to face me and my electricity!
eclipsed by saint’s row? i was there first, son
feel the wrath of macgrath, delivering real hurtin’
mr. freeman assumed he could escape through the “steam valve”!
but d conduit’s confirmed your karma can’t cross my power c*n*l
twice any all*star, i’ll really be getting into this
first light shines, your games are all infamous

red bird (angry birds):
you wouldn’t like me when i’m angry! bringing the hurt!
because an “electric personality” won’t work with this bird
i’ll crash through these pigs, like steel and islands
took an empire down while cj here was stealing diamonds!
come with a real veste*backer! the global mobile mogul!
bring three times the blues, make you stay in local!
fight you to rio, or transform this fight to star wars!
this level’s over, the three gold stars aren’t yours

ethan mars (heavy rain):
you’ll find that i can flow harder than shelby’s crane
hitting with more power than some flappy birdbrain
paige’ll put on the page that i take the stage
i wander if this mage is brave enough to make a play
like jayden’s drug pain my win’ll buzz like triptocaine
treat postman pat with disdain, your profit’s gravy train
the way i move, you know i’m ahead of the game
with my rhymes pouring down on you like a heavy rain

alex mason (call of duty: black ops):
heeding the call of duty, black ops’ll leave you in the dark
a bigger battlefield than battlefield to take you punks apart
i’ll tear this planet, just like too much origami!
put down silent and the real quiet, just like konami!
this battle’s a bigger drag than dragovich, ask reznov
may not be zombies but i’m still good for taking heads off
lethal as a tomahawk as my lyrics arc towards their targets
don’t need advanced warfare to show you i’m the hardest!

steve (minecraft):
i’m sp*wning in to show this depressed man who’s the player
you can’t stop this void jumping, ender dragon slayer
crafting art like these raps, adding armor for my power
the elite, meat*eating, tree punching, pro survivor
time to kick this up a notch, i’m sure that you’re frightened
your chances of winning are like finding a diamond
microsoft wanted us, your games left me in aghast
mojang’s top money maker, this is minecraft!

the traveler (journey):
set out on a journey to make you lose as you’re lost
to now the only one amongst you who can really walk their talk
now the traveler’s attacking as all your scarves unraveling
liven this beat while these cretin’s defeat’s happening
rap right ‘round a square and the enix*abandoned kiddies
i’ll be a glowing symbol as i start my descent to this atrocity
all i did was take a trip, and i sold faster than notch sold out
you wish this was multiplayer so it’d only be a wordless shout….

joel and ellie (the last of us):
after everything we’ve been through, thrust into ridiculousness
unstring tom baker’s scarf because we’re in the graphics business
walk around these living like the undead, know it’s our time
unload the el diablo on this shorty of a walking wind chime
doesn’t take an apocalypse to show you don’t have no flow
or blades, wits or gameplay, i could take you down with an arrow!
i’ve smuggled in a way to ensure that you’ve lost your guts
*zombie grunt* accept your fate. i’m chosen to be the last of us

shovel knight (shovel knight):
for foes like this, i won’t need to steel thy shovel
pounding through your raps like dirt with the dust knuckles
i survived through knights, phantoms, and kings, and moles
while joel almost died from a rebar pole
i went from indie to mainstream in just mere days
take advice from me; free dlc for play!
might as well call me the winner, i’m the one with the best plot
now i’m off to go chill with my backers on my yacht!

the sole survivor (fallout 4):
war…. war never changes…
two hundred years ago, i started a journey
culminating in putting retro gaming on a gurney
this so called knight hasn’t seen a real man
my brotherhood’s steel, not desmond’s ad victoriam
institutionalize, run railroads underground undercover
i’ve got the commonwealth, two flows, cryo*fire brother
this is real gaming, players fallout from your aged doctrine
game over for this dogmeat, i took the nuclear option

geralt of rivia (the witcher iii: wild hunt):
a master monster hunter, sole survivors can’t k!ll me
i set the world on fire with a splash of igni
i use my witcher senses to give families some help
while you’re too busy farming and dooming the commonwealth
the gaming critics on my side, squash out the bugs you’re ridden with
bethesda’s quite the letdown, shoulda left it to obsidian
geralt has taken this battle, let me make myself clear
there’s a reason why i won the game of the year

- mr jay rb lyrics

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