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the knights who say ni! - monty python lyrics

ni! ni! ni! ni! ni! ni!
who are you?
we are the knights who say… “ni”!
no! not the knights who say “ni”!
the same.
who are thee?
we are the keepers of the sacred words: ni, ping, and
nee-womm!
nee-womm!
those who hear them seldom live to tell the tale!
the knights who say “ni” demand… a sacrifice!
knights of ni, we are but simple travelers who seek the
enchanter who lives beyond these woods.
ni! ni! ni! ni! ni! ni! ni! ni! ni!
no! nooo! aaaugh! no!
we shall say “ni” again to you… if you do not appease
us.
well what is it you want?
we want…

a shrubbery!

a what?
ni! ni!! ni! ni!
no! no! please, please, no more! we will find you a
shrubbery.
you must return here with a shrubbery… or else you
will never p-ss through this wood… alive.
o knights of ni, you are just and fair, and we will
return with a shrubbery.
one that looks nice.
of course!
and not too expensive.
yes!
now… go!

o knights of ni. we have brought you your shrubbery.
may we go now?
yes, it is a good shrubbery. i like the laurels
particularly.
but there is one small problem…
what is that?
we are now no longer the knights who say “ni”!
ni! shh! shh!
we are now the knights who say “ekky-ekky-ekky-ekky-
z’bang, zoom-boing, z’nourrrwringmm”.
ni!
therefore, we must give you a test.
what is this test, o knights of…
knights who ’til recently said “ni”?
firstly, you must find…

another shrubbery!

oh not another shrubbery!
then… then, when you have found the shrubbery,
you must place it here, beside this shrubbery, only
slightly higher, so we get the two-level effect with a
little path running down the middle.
a path! a path! a path! shh, shhh. ni! ni!
kthen, when you have found the shrubbery, you must cut
down the mightiest tree in the forest…
with… a herring!

- monty python lyrics

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