bruce's philosophers song - monty python lyrics
immanuel kant was a real p-ssant
who was very rarely stable.
heidegger, heidegger was a boozy beggar
who could think you under the table.
david hume could out-consume
wilhelm freidrich hegel.
and wittgenstein was a beery swine
who was just as schloshed as schlegel.
there’s nothing nietzsche couldn’t teach ya
’bout the raising of the wrist,
socrates, himself, was permanently p-ssed.
john stuart mill, of his own free will,
on half a pint of shandy was particularly ill.
plato, they say, could stick it away,
half a crate of whiskey every day.
aristotle, aristotle was a b-gg-r for the bottle,
and hobbes was fond of his dram.
and rene descartes was a drunken fart,
“i drink, therefore i am.”
yes, socrates himself is particularly missed,
a lovely little thinker, but a b-gg-r when he’s p-ssed.
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