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harris's rap - monsieur alfonse lyrics

yo, my name is harris
i like to drive my toyota yaris
my favourite city is the city of paris
where you can buy croissants from my mate travis
i live on a cattle farm
the ladies find it quite the charm
my animals will do you no harm
as long as you remain very calm
olz is a s*xy beast
when you look at him it’s quite the feast
give him a go, put him to the test
i think you’ll find he’s the very best
roland is my neighbour’s dog
his bulging eyes make him look like a frog
the other day he got locked in my bog
when i opened the door it was quite a shock
i like to wear blue cargo shorts
i have a balaclava to hide my warts
i’m insecure, please don’t hurt me
herbs are my favourite snacks
i like collecting match attax
if you’re in town, send me a fax
and i’ll make us some tasty wraps
i think you’ll find i’m quite a guy
my celebrity crush is stephen fry
i like to play i spy

- monsieur alfonse lyrics

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