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absolution - misgiving lyrics

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i will close my eyes, let them roll back inside, keep this image in my frame of mind
a photographic memory of what i’d like to be a lasting impression of what i used to be

what i used to be was fearless and able
look at me now see this sorry unstable excuse of a human life that’s barely living ’cause i’m scared that i’m barely alive

drain the color from inside and bleed this canvas dry
bring it to the light, make me realize that when it’s all black and white
i can see the outline, it’s so clear
i’ll trace it back to where i find myself in here with a disappointed stare

now we’re face to face, nothing vivid and bright to avert my eyes or to serve as my escape
what will you have to say?
what will the judgment be?

please be forgiving. i understand this was not the plan you had made for yourself
it’s a god d-mn shame that i can’t be the me you expected you would see
can you find it in yourself to just accept i’ve lost my way?

the sheer frustration of giving up on what you thought you had
the contemplation to come to terms with a less than fortunate change

hear me out
i hope you know that i share this fear with you
all along
i’ve carried guilt from the things i’ve put us through

i carry on like there’s nothing wrong, but you know me better and truth is that i’m scared to death of how this all ends thanks to my actions

just ask yourself, “what would i want?”
the golden rule still applies even when you’re looking into your own eyes

i’ll ask myself, “what do i want?”
the golden rule still applies even when i’m looking into my own eyes

- misgiving lyrics

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