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strangeways hotel - mike harding (uk) lyrics

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[verse 1]
last sat*rday night i got into a fight
and i woke up on wednesday in an ‘eck of a fright
’cause the judge said “young fella, you’re going for a spell
six months’ hard labour in the strangeways hotel”

[chorus]
toodle*oo, aye*up, i can tell
there’s no place on earth like the strangeways hotel

[verse 2]
it’s porridge each morning, it’s strong and it’s thick
it clogs up the drains and puts big lumps on your elbows
how do they make more when one lot’s all spent
they mix two loads of sand up with one of cement

[chorus]
toodle*oo, aye*up, i can tell
there’s no place on earth like the strangeways hotel

[verse 3]
it’s fish every friday, it’s fish two*foot wide
covers up your plate and hangs over the side
you can tell that it’s friday just by the smell
’cause the fish have all done time in the strangeways hotel
[chorus]
toodle*oo, aye*up, i can tell
there’s no place on earth like the strangeways hotel

[spoken section]

[verse 4]
well we don’t sleep like tops and we don’t sleep like logs
’cause the bed bugs have feet like collier’s clogs
and they bite and they pinch and they wrestle you as well
then they kick you out of bed in the strangeways hotel

[chorus]
toodle*oo, aye*up, i can tell
there’s no place on earth like the strangeways hotel

[verse 5]
well the warders they read bedtime stories at night
they tuck us all in then they switch out the lights
then they give us all a big kiss to make sure we sleep well
they’ve bl**dy strange ways in the strangeways hotel

[chorus]
toodle*oo, aye*up, i can tell
there’s no place on earth like the strangeways hotel

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